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I don't think I would go back and relive it if nothing changed, it would seem a bit pointless to me and sometimes when something's ended, the memories are a bit better than the actuality. Now, as for going back and changing history to prevent it... without a doubt, I would go back and change it if it was guaranteed that by doing so, I would not lose anything or anyone I now love.
But if going back and making changes could change your future and cause certain meetings and events not to happen, I would like to think I wouldn't risk it (but I really wouldn't know what I would do unless I really had to make the decision). One thing I've always told myself when I've thought of past mistakes and regrets is that I would not be the person I am today without them and since I'm reasonably happy with who I am and where I am and what I am, why feel remorseful over things long gone? I think some friendships are meant to come and go. I've lost a lot of friendships, a couple ended badly (and if a friendship cannot stand up to some friction, it wasn't meant to be), most just sort of drifted away as our lives and wants and needs changed.
I cannot say that any of these lost friends were worth me risking what I have now. This does not mean that they were not good friends, they were. At the time, we thought we would always be so close and comfortable with each other, that our bonds would always feel as magical as it did then. This also does not mean I don't regret the loss of some of these friends, I do.
Now, back at you, since you cannot go back and change it, how about changing the future of it? Any old friend (still alive, that is) can be contacted... and a true friendship can stand a few storms...
Heidi
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...it's not the spilt milk I'm crying over, it's the fact that I just dropped the whole gallon on my toe...
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