Its funny, cause its so true.
Add:
Check
the DrudgeReport or similar news sites to make sure nothing cataclysmic happened to the world while you were chatting on AIM.
Check
Slashdot to make sure if some groundbreaking story happened in the world of technology, you're on top of it (note: must be done atleast 15 times a day to be effective)
and
Said light-up device should contain a blue led.