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Re: Pet Peeves
It sure seems like I've been pet-peeving a lot lately, but this one is personal... Spiders. They’ve broken our agreement for the last time. I have no shame in admitting I do not like bugs… and have sent many to an early grave. But I always thought spiders and I had an agreement… they don’t invade my personal space and I don’t squash them. Live and let live. I abide by the agreement, even going as far as to have someone “rescue” spiders and set them free outside if I feel they are getting too close to my personal space. But over the years, spiders have broken the agreement, time and time again. Once, a tickling sensation woke me up and I peered blearily around just in time to see a big old spider go scurrying across my arm. Another time, a spider made me do the streak… I had been relaxing in a nice bubble bath, eyes closed, when I felt just the slightest motion of air in front of my face… and I opened my eyes to see two evil looking black eyes and way too many furry legs dangling in front of me… okay, so I did keep some dignity, it wasn’t a complete streak, I grabbed a towel before shrieking my way out of the bathroom… Now, that’s the main problem. Spiders make me shriek like a girly-girl. And it’s this shrieking that has made me finally call off the agreement. This morning, while talking someone on the phone about county codes and mold/mildew contamination, I absentmindedly toyed with my staple remover, flipping it over and over between my fingers. I looked down and there, sitting quite proudly on my hand was a spider as big as a quarter (well, it wasn’t quite that big, but it’s a well known fact that a spider on you is actually 5 times bigger than it was when it was still an inch away). Simultaneously, the staple remover and the spider went flying across the room as my shrieking hit new levels and I jerked away from my desk, pulling my phone to the floor with a resounding crash and knocking my cup of water over. The person I was talking to has never called me back, most likely because my shriek pierced his eardrum, or maybe he thinks my shriek indicates I’m a little over enthusiastic about mold… I may never know… but I do know this: spiders are going to be dying, oh yes, their little legs kicking all the way, whenever I see them… that is, if I don’t have to get too close to them…
Heidi
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What a tangled web we weave when first we spider fricassee…
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