I browse the forums late at night almost all the time (just look at some of my post times, especially close to ship) and lots of odd things are posted then, but this has got to be the craziest, sleep-deprived, caffeine-fueled post I have ever seen. Unfortunately, your day’s work is not done until you wire that last Victor speed controller (nope that wasn't a hallucination

). Finally, I leave you with these words of advice:
Don't Drink and Scoot, especially on an Overclocked Segway!

Just give up those Segway keys (well maybe you can keep the black one. I mean ... how much damage could you do in beginner mode?

)