[dlavery]

Give the keys to your car to your best friend, and have them to take the old lady to the hospital right away, then head off to their appointment with your car. Stay at the bus stop with the girl of your dreams. She will be so impressed with your sensitivity to the plight of your friend and your community spirit by helping the old lady, she will immediately want to know more about you. Get to know her while waiting for the bus, strike up a great conversation, go out on a date. Let it lead to many others, and eventually to your proposal. After a short engagement, you get married and have a fantastic honeymoon in Jamaica, and look forward to a wonderful life together.

Meanwhile, you find out the old lady at the side of the road was your spouse's mother. She is tremendously wealthly. She is so greatful to your best friend for driving her to the hospital that she immediately amends her will to leave her entire estate to your friend. She never fully recovers from her injuries, and passes shortly thereafter. Your best friend inherits the full estate, and immediately moves to the South Pacific with his new-found wealth. Your wife is furious because she was completely left out of the will, and she blames you (after all, it was YOUR best friend that got all of HER money). In retribution, she files for divorce, and claims half of your belongings. Her lawyer is better than yours, and she cleans you out. She then heads for the South Pacific, and spends the rest of her life with your former best friend and most of your money. You now live in a small cardboard box on the side of the road.

Moral of the story: when driving, always concentrate on what is on the road ahead of you. Things on the curbside are just distractions, and should be ignored - no good can come from any of them, no matter how friendly, attractive or needy they may appear.

-dave (carefully removing tounge from where it has been firmly lodged in my cheek)