talking to the printer: "You better work. [incoherent muttering] What the?! Don't make me eat you!" And now it has a smiley face sticker that says "I failed today!" on it, when in fact, it actually fails most of the times we try to print something.
"Go 'way or I'll eat you like the orc that I am."
"At least we're being productive in the middle of not being productive!"