[Hailfire]

Here's one that I got from a cousin in an email a long time ago. It's not the best I've heard, but anyways, here it is...

TOP TEN REASONS COMPUTERS
MUST BE FEMALE

1. They just sit there blinking dumbly at you.
2. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed
to memory for future reference.
4. They frustrate the hell out of you when you give a command and
they don't, won't, or can't follow it.
5. Sometimes, try as you might, you can't turn them on
particularly if you already have a floppy in.
6 If you floppy disk has a virus, you can be $@#$@#$@#$@# sure your
computer will get it.
7. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
8. A better model is just around the corner.
9.The best part of having one is the games you can play.
10. In order to get their attention you have to turn them on.

Here's one that I read on a website long ago.

A blonde and a brunette inherit their father's farm and notices that they don't have any bulls. So the brunette leaves to find a bull for their farm with $100 in her pocket. She finds a bull and buys it for $99. She then sets out to the post office. She finds asks the man there and asks, "Excuse me, I need to send a message to my sister. How much is it?" The man replies, "It's $1 per word." The brunette thinks about it for a while and says, "I need to tell her to bring the truck so we can haul the bull back to our farm. I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'" The man replies, "How in the world is your sister supposed to know to pick up the bull by sending her the word 'comfortable'?" The brunette responds, "My sister is blonde. She'll read it slow."