Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rich Kressly
After an initial conference call with our joint legal team, John VN and I, on behalf of the entire group, will be filing for the following damages (per person) in federal court:
1. $5M for promoting the spread of airborne viruses (expect to hear from the CDC as well)
2. $100K for hearing loss from compressed air
3. $75K emotional distress/pain and suffering. ANY sound of air at all causes us to quiver in fear and the slightest wind leads to paranoia, loss of sleep, reduced appetite, anxiety, and high blood pressure.
4. $34 for hairstyling
25, I realize you are from Joisey, but you will need to do better than your cousin Vinny to get you out of this one.
Oh, and I'm throwing in another $5K for the broken ribs suffered from Big Mike's infamous bearhug.
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To respond-
1-$5M for airborne disease- chances are you got that from cows in your neighborhood
2.-$100 for hearing loss- I'm told you never listen anyway...no loss
3.-$75 for emotional distress- when this can be proven as effecting your conjugal functions then we talk. Care to fess up?
4.-$34 for hairstyling- come on- we did you a favor.
Keep it up and I'll want the chickee back!! Grr!
WC
