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Originally Posted by Kyle
I got hit for "to much green hair in the eairly am"
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So in other words: probably better I wasn't there. That'd be the first of many hits against me, most likely organized by Big Mike.
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Originally Posted by Rich Kressly
After an initial conference call with our joint legal team, John VN and I, on behalf of the entire group, will be filing for the following damages (per person) in federal court:
1. $5M for promoting the spread of airborne viruses (expect to hear from the CDC as well)
2. $100K for hearing loss from compressed air
3. $75K emotional distress/pain and suffering. ANY sound of air at all causes us to quiver in fear and the slightest wind leads to paranoia, loss of sleep, reduced appetite, anxiety, and high blood pressure.
4. $34 for hairstyling
25, I realize you are from Joisey, but you will need to do better than your cousin Vinny to get you out of this one.
Oh, and I'm throwing in another $5K for the broken ribs suffered from Big Mike's infamous bearhug.
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Why bother? With the American legal system, it'll take years, and they'd probably still get off clean. Just organize your own hit squad to take out the Cool Squad. Just think, you could arm them with airzookas, super soakers, water grenades, and maybe some of those directional hypersonic sound speakers (so when they hear any weird sounds and ask if anyone else heard them, no one else would have, and people will think they're crazy and it will scare the victims). I'll even volunteer (but I swear, if anybody messes up my hair...)