Most of the engines I've looked at claim support for 3DSMax. As for similarity, how about a 'default' color that is filled in at runtime (allowing for the same robot to have different looks).
As for the control mech, that is going to be difficult. I have a couple of ideas.
- assign keybord keys and joystick axis to various inputs
- allow you to hook up the OI and get the info via dashboard.
- make an FRC program for the RC that feeds the computer info. (also allows for programs straight off the RC)
All I know is that it is going to be a bugger.