[Matt Leese]

I've been watching this thread fairly closely as it developed and, personally, I'm more concerned, not by the topic, but by how everyone is acting on this thread.

When I read the Chief Delphi forums, I tend to see very little malice and take very little offense from anything I read. Occasionally I see something that bothers me but my assumption is that that wasn't the intent of the original post, so I ignore it. I will posit that very few, if any, people post on here with the intention of offending anyone.

Now, offending someone can happen accidentally. It's important to recognize that it was an accident. There are really three ways to handle it when you take offense: you can ignore it (this should be your first choice), you can kindly and graciously point out that you disagree (this should be your choice if you really feel the need to respond), or you can attack someone in response (you really shouldn't ever do this).

Unfortunately, in this thread too many people choose the last choice. Usually all it takes is one person to escalate the situation and it's all down hill from there.

In this case, I was bothered enough by this thread that I choose the second choice. I was debating whether or not to post to this thread for quite awhile but finally decided that I maybe could add something to the discussion.

Of course, none of this absolves the original writer of a post from any responsibility. It's important to be careful about what you write. If something may be offensive, try and write it in a way that won't be offensive. It's not hard, it just requires thought.

So please, think before you post. I rather regularly will have a post all typed up and then realize that it really isn't adding anything to the discussion and close the window.

If you feel that this post was directed at you, it probably was. Even if you don't feel it was directed at you, you can probably learn something from it (or possibly I think too highly of myself). Am I trying to offend? No. Will I? Possibly. I hope that everyone can take this is the spirit in which it was intended; that is constructive criticism.

Matt