[Amanda Morrison]

I wrote this to a mentor today, and I think it's good advice for any team who is submitting an essay. I understand some teams are uncomfortable with sharing this type of information, and that's fine. A few tips and pointers will help everyone:

1. Identify with your team 3 main things you'd like for the judges to notice. Does your mentor communicate well? Get along with the students? Raise money for the team? Name about three things that you think are best to describe them, if you had to do so in three sentences.

2. Ask yourself, why? Take those three focused main ideas and build upon them. Make a web with the ideas if you feel that it will help you decide what to write about, and how to really make them the strong points of the essay.

3. From those three main points, find a story or instance where you think your mentor really displayed that quality. Why did that really affect the students/mentors/team? (Although you may not use the three stories in the essay, this will help you clarify what you'd like to say and how to say it concisely and effectively.)

4. Incorporate what you've come up with into your essay. Many colleges will teach your students the five paragraph method (introduction, three main points of one paragraph each, and a conclusion), and this is by far one of the most effective and persuasive forms of writing or speech. Keep that in mind when you revise this essay.

I've gotten about three submissions to date, and hope for more. There is no person on earth (no, not even zee Grammar Goddess here) that can't use a little revision on their work. Keep that in mind, and happy writing!

Amanda