Pirates.

oints to Surname: The Pirate Mistress. What do you expect? oO?
Why Pirates are Better than Ninjas
1. Pirates have ships. You can threaten people with seasickness.
2. Pirate men wear jewelry, and men +rings (anywhere appropriate)= hot.
3. Pirates wear sexy clothes. I would know.
4. Orlando Bloom + Johnny Depp.
5. Yar is the best word ever.
6. You can run around in stripes and people won't assume you're a convict.
int happiness;
int pirate;
Pirates = Happiness;