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Until our Stick Hostage Negotiator arrives, I think I'd like to talk to you about this. The feelings you are experiencing are perfectly normal. These sticks are quite possibly the most annoying things in the FIRST competition. But must you take your anger out in such a harsh manner? I think you would be endangering yourself as well as anyone around if you were to burn the sticks. As all the DuPonters know, "The Goal Is Zero." The last thing we want is someone getting hurt. Those sticks have layers upon layers of paint which, when burned, would release incredibly dangerous fumes into the air. So please, we need to discus your ransom. $300,000,000 is a lot of money. Again, I'm not the official Stick Hostage Negotiator, but I don't know if we will be able to afford you that amount of funds. Please, don't lose contact. We only want to help you.
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