You did forget the Mike option. It is the only right answer
But since it wasnt there, I picked Ninja -- they are mysterious, sly, can do flips and cool other stuff... and this kid I used to be in love with had this "ninja group" with his friends.
Plus, pirates are like on ships with all men for months at a time -- dirty, hairy, gross. But, they do find lots of gold.
Ninjas are sweet tho.