[KenWittlief]

Physics professor after being corrected for the umpteenth time over minor mistakes in his lecture: Listen to what I mean, not what I say

Economics professor before a test: Before I pass out the test I want everyone to get spaced out.

[The one that sent half the class to the Add/Drop line on the first day of class]: Hello, my name is Raniseh Kalamaphiquar, and this is professor Abu Rhama from Kenya. He is your english literature professor, and I am his interpreter!