[dubious elise]

Well, I hate to rip on my physics teacher because he was such a nice fellow but... yeah, he really did say all of these himself.

Student: Yeah, Sam lives on the edge...
Teacher: No, if Sam lived on the edge he would slip and fall and be sliced in half

Students: Um, did you grade our tests yet? You've had them for two weeks now!
Teacher: No...they're still wet
Students: What?!
Teacher: I spilled milk on them this morning...

Student: If there was a banana in orbit, would it be brown?
Teacher: No, it would be frozen...and yellow.

And a few solo acts from the same teacher....

"How many of you guys are going to be gone yesterday?"
"Teflon has very low friction, that's why they coat it with frying pans."
"I lost some of my marbles, just wait a second"
"I'll use a 'q' here. (erases previous 'q') A big, giant 'Q'"
"An ocean is any body of water that you cannot see across"
"Never wish a b____hslap on anyone!"
"Keep your soul. Don't be trading it - it's valuable!"
"Don't worry about how many days we have left.... It's nine by the way, but who's counting?"
"I tend to not like electricity, so I usually stay away from it."

I can't wait for second-semester AP Physics to begin!!!