Wow… had I done this early, two results would’ve been off. Looks like Yahoo flubbed something up, and didn’t bother to tell us. So I’m feeling extra snarky this week.
Rhode Island Voltaic (5-3) d. Feisty Klowns (5-3)
64-63
In what was the game of the week, the Spellcheck Smacktalk Bowl was a nail biter that ended Thursday morning (hear me out here). Starting out on Sunday, Rhode Island had absolutely ker-ploded (an Eddieism). Their defense did nothing, and their only good scores were a 10 from John Kasay and 11 from Dunn. The misspelled Klowns had Carson Palmer’s 10, a Janikowski 9, and a defense that scored. After Sunday, The Klowns were up by 17. Fast forward to Monday Night Football, where the Patriots got owned with a capital P by Indianapolis. There were three benefactors to this. Rhode Island got 16 from Manning and a 12 from Wayne, putting them up 11. The Klowns got that 11 back with Edgerrin James. After Monday, it was tied. Then, Wednesday night/Thursday morning, Cincinnati lost a point somehow for the Klowns, giving the Voltaic the win. A well-fought match by both teams, only sullied by Yahoo’s scorkeeping.
Koko's X-Cats (4-3-1) vs.
hurricanes (2-6)
draw
43-43
The second victim of Yahoo’s lousy scorekeeping this week doesn’t break a tie, but rather causes one (the Canes actually won this game before what I assume is another scoring change Thursday morning). High points for the Canes: Pittsburgh’s 13 (it’s not like the rest of their defense actually did anything), Graham’s 9, and the fact that despite having no T.O., McNabb managed to put up 7 positive points. The X-Cats’ good stuff: Julius Peppers’s 10, Jordan’s 9, and Collins’s 8. I suppose the tie is better than a loss for the X-Cats, meaning a break actually went in their favor for a change.
Nor Cal Crushers (7-1) d. sigmakittens (4-4)
69-64
“The obviously bored Crushers wanted to make things more challenging by ‘seeing how the other half lives’ by mismanaging their roster by leaving two players unattended who are on a bye including their quarterback.” Quoted for hilariousness. And truth, despite the fact that there was really nothing Nor Cal could do about the sitch. Truth be told, the Sigmakittens gave them a run for their money. Their defense combined for 37 (extra props to Gamble with 19 and Seattle with 14), and dual 9s were put up by Curtis “My Favorite” Martin (yes, I happen to like that nickname) and Lawrence Tynes. Even Delhomme tacked on 7. Most of the Crushers offense fell apart. Chicago’s 12 helped. But when I say “most of” the offense fell apart, I mean that. Steve Smith added 13. That was it. No, wait, no it wasn’t. Some guy named LaDanian Thomlinson added a few points. Let’s see, he had 153 all-purpose yards. Oh, and four touchdowns. Double take if you have to, but that totals to 31 points. Most of the offense fell apart, but Smith and Thomlinson carried Nor Cal. The Crushers got really lucky this week, but the fact of the matter is, they won.
The Tacoites (4-4) d. Pelan's Bobcats (1-7)
52-51
The score says one thing about this game: these two teams were very equal this week. Brady got 16 (despite the butt kicking) for The Tacoites, while Alexander scored 20 for the Bobcats. Both had moderate defenses (15-14 in favor of The Tacoites). Both had the rest of the offense score merely okay points. But in the end, The Tacoites edge out the Bobcats by a point, putting them above .500 for the first time this season.
QC Elite (1-7) d. Stevies Scapegoats (2-5-1)
66-38
I gotta say, this is not the same Elite squad that has been stuck in the basement since Week II. They absolutely dominated this week, with 10 from Chris Brown, and 11 from both Michael Bennett and the New York Football Giants. Not quite amazing until you realize that all but two players on the Elite broke 6. The Scapegoats only made things worse for themselves with their only score that they want to see mentioned here being Galloway’s 10. After spending seven weeks in the basement, QC Elite finally breaks free. Now the question remains: can they make a playoff run?
Dunedain (3-5) d. Jc's Evil Empire (5-3)
42-37
D is for Dunedain. It’s also for defense, which is what Dunedain employed this week. A combined 27 lead them to victory over the Empire’s leading duo of Vanderjagt (10) and Vick (8). Not the most exciting game in the world, but Dunedain manages to put themselves in the playoff race.
FIRSTforce (6-2) d. Akshar Did It (4-3-1)
76-31
Yeah, so FIRSTforce clearly won this time. ADI really had no opportunity to put up a fight. Only three of their players scored more than 3 points, with Tab Perry (who?) taking their top score with 9. The Force had a bunch of high scores this week, among these being Carolina (18), Rackers (15), Bulluck (14), and Rudy Johnson (10). And, just to show you the theme of this game, FIRSTforce’s QB scored 1, and it was still 2 more than ADI’s.
Team THRUST (4-4) d. Coco's Monkeys (4-4)
62-28
This was another case of the defeated party being unable to put up a fight. The Monkeys best score was Mike Peterson’s 11. Nobody else cleared 5, and there were three zilches. That’s not going to be a winner, even if your opponent (Team THRUST in this case) doesn’t play a very good game. They did, BTW. Heck, their defensive 28 equaled the Monkeys’ entire score. Add Stephen Davis’s 14, and this game is easily Team THRUST’s.
Cooney Quest (4-4) d. Your Ad Here (7-1)
35-29
Yeah… so when QC Elite outscores this entire game (along with four other teams, one in a loss), you know it was bad. YAH has been trying to lose games all season, and Cooney was playing with the demoralized Packers as their primary scorers. Cooney easily wanted this one more though, getting enough scoring with the Green Bay DEF’s 9, Branch’s 8, and Sellers’s 7. The hurting YAH could only respond with a Randy Moss 7. The best thing to come out of this game was the fact that the Quest desperately needed to win, and they did.
west coast style (3-5) d. IwillCrushYou (3-4-1)
61-57
I seriously thought this would go the other way due to WCS losing Owens. But the rest of their team stepped up to the plate. Marvin Harrison led the way with 18. Byron Leftwich threw for 13 points. And everybody scored, no matter how little. IWCY had more high scores, including Larry Johnson’s 19, Hasselbeck’s 12, and Portis’s 10. But they also had two hurt players and a bye, giving them three 0’s. It cost them a shot at .500 this week.
Code:
Rank Team W-L-T Pct. Pts. Streak Change
1. Nor Cal Crushers 8-1-0 .889 660 W-8 ±0
2. FIRSTforce 7-2-0 .778 501 W-1 +1
3. Your Ad Here 7-2-0 .778 418 L-1 -1
4. Rhode Island Voltaic 6-3-0 .667 507 W-1 ±0
5. Koko's X-Cats 4-3-2 .556 523 T-1 +2
6. Team THRUST 5-4-0 .556 511 W-1 +3
7. Feisty Klowns 5-4-0 .556 493 L-1 -2
8. The Tacoites 5-4-0 .556 456 W-2 +3
9. Jc's Evil Empire 5-4-0 .556 436 L-1 -3
10. Cooney Quest 5-4-0 .556 379 W-1 +2
11. Akshar Did It 4-4-1 .500 379 L-1 -3
12. west coast style 4-5-0 .444 494 W-2 +3
13. sigmakittens 4-5-0 .444 485 L-1 -3
14. Dunedain 4-5-0 .444 463 W-1 +2
15. Coco's Monkeys 4-5-0 .444 350 L-1 -2
16. IwillCrushYou 3-5-1 .389 417 L-2 -2
17. Stevies Scapegoats 2-6-1 .278 470 L-2 ±0
18. hurricanes 2-6-1 .278 387 T-1 ±0
19. QC Elite 2-7-0 .222 406 W-1 +1
20. Pelan's Bobcats 1-8-0 .111 433 L-6 -1
I've got an interesting favor to ask: now I know what changed the score of the Klowns/Voltaic game (it was Cincinnati losing a point, if that helps), but if anybody could figure out what changed the score of the X-Cats/Canes game (I believe it was with the X-Cats gaining 2-4 points, but don't quote me on that), it'd be appreciated.
And here I was, about to laugh at the fact that there were two teams at .500 after playing an even number of games. But alas, it wasn't meant to be. The plus side is that the X-Cats are closing in on Dunedain's tie record. It's going to be at least two weeks before anybody can clinch a playoff spot, but Nor Cal is the closest right now. Nobody is eliminated yet either. I wasn't joking about the Elite making a playoff run. They can do it because if they win out with a decent fantasy score, they'd be at .500 (and that's possible too because they only have one opponent in the top half of the league left on their schedule), and I have a feeling that the .500 bracket is going to see a few playoff teams this year. And finally, you heard it here first: I'm calling that the currently third place Your Ad Here will not make the playoffs. They're hurting, have a low fantasy score, and have four of the top six teams on their schedule.
Anyhow, thanks for bearing with me through Yahoo's score changing, and see you next week.