[Travis Hoffman]

Billfred: "So, uh, I was talking with my 1293 students the other day, and they can't stop praising the Christmas cookies you sent me over the Holidays. It turns out they are great for filing down metal burrs. They also make the perfect ammo for keeping our shop's rat problem in check. I just wanted to thank you again for such a thoughtful gift!"

Jessica: "Oh that's so.....nice.......of.............you.............. ...........Billfred. Say, would you like to see my 'Board of Education'? Here, take a good, close look. Now here's your next lesson, jerk!"

Billfred: "Hee hee hee, that tickles! I've been hit in the head by one of your cookies (this explains a lot about me, by the way); compared to that pain, nothing even comes close!"