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Originally Posted by Rich Kressly
Respect certainly is a HUGE part of this. I also think learning the personalities, leadership styles, comfort zones, and team roles of others on your team, regardless of age, is crucial.
I too think communication is the key and, as an educator and leader, I do my best to use a "restorative" model that was part of my training in teaching, working with young people, and serving as a conflict resolution facilitator.
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Mr. Kressly... I couldn't agree with you more here.
I will use my own team as an example to explain what I think about this topic. Our mentor, Mr. Payne, is a teacher at the high school. I am the other mentor on the team who is 20, and we have students (ages 14-18).
The beautiful thing about our team is we are all friends and we are one family when it comes to keep our team going. Whenever a student has a problem, he/she can talk to us mentors directly without hesitating and I love that part. There have been several times I have seen students talking to mentors about their own problems and gotten good solid advice. I saw students who walked inside the engineering room with a frown, but by the time he/she walked out of the room, there was a smile on his/her face because that student had someone to talk to.
... we respect each other.
Our communication part on the team is great too. Just like every other team, we have tension on our team, but we always talk it out. If there are any problems we solve it right away. Team 1345 is only a new team and we have a long way to go, but I can say proudly that each one of us always walks out from the room or the shop smiling.
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Originally Posted by BurningQuestion
This is why I believe it is completely innapropriate for mentors to be a part of the students social interactions - mentors should not have "buddies" on the team, nor should they be involved in a romantic relationship with a student on the team. If I were to be mentoring a team, I would choose NOT to mentor the team I graduated from. Instead, I would mentor a team where I didn't know any of the students, and I would not be tempted or feel obligated to be a part of the student social network. I would instead choose to be an authority figure so that my mentoring could be effective.
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Jaine brings up a very good point and it makes you think. I have thought about this for a while and right about now, I think I want to state my opinion on this, and I will use myself as an example here...
I just turned 20 not even a month ago. Most of the high school students that I am dealing with are in the age range of 16-18. If I am a mentor on the team, does that mean I need to separate myself from the students when they ask me to go bowl with them or play pool or go hang out? I am not sure what you meant by "buddies" Jaine, but if you are saying that a mentor shouldn't date a student,
to a certain point you are right. I have been in a relationship with one of the members on the team even before I joined her team. At the same time, it was her team mates and teachers who invited me and welcomed me to their team while she was scared that the relationship would bring the team down. But, the team didn't have any problem with us, that's because we both acted professional when we were with the team. In fact, there has been many events in Broward county where My girlfriend and I have worked together (robotics events) and put up a great show. I can tell without a doubt that there will not be anyone else who will be able to work with me just like she has (reason simply being she understands me well enough).
My opinion is, it's not your relationship status that counts with a member of your team, it's
how professional you are when you are at a certain environment.
... I know many other mentors who are involved socially with their students, it only seems wrong if you look at it that way. It's always right if you think you are doing it right and you are satisfied with what you are doing.
With that said, I apologize if there is anyone who doesn't agree with my opinion. But these are just opinions and I am happy with how my life is, I play with the students, build with them, laugh with them, cry with them, dance with them, chase them around, and most of all I respect them for who they are.