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Unread 09-07-2006, 16:17
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dlavery dlavery is offline
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Re: Snakes on a Plane

I have been waiting for this movie to come out ever since I first heard about it back in February (when Wired magazine named it the "Worst Movie of 2006" - which is particularly prescient, when you consider that at the time of publication 2006 had not even started yet). I have been following the net parodies of the trailer with glee (some of my favorites are here, here and here - to see more, just check out YouTube or iFilm, and do a search on "Snakes On A Plane").

If you are wondering if you should go and see this movie or not, then let me suggest a few simple litmus tests to determine if you have the appropriate psychological appreciation for such a cinematic production:

If you were able to actually keep paying attention to Plan 9 From Outer Space for more than the first seven minutes of the film, then Snakes On A Plane is for you.

If you scoff at episodes of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 because they are not creative enough in their abuse of the original lame plots, then this is a film you will love.

If you understand that Peter's suggestion about bringing rubber snakes to the movie and crying out "snakes in a movie theatre!!!" is exactly the right thing to do, then you need to grab a handfull of rubber cobras, and prepare to be entertained.

If you recognize the film "Eegah!" as one of the truly outstanding highlights of Richard Kiel's illustrious career, then Snakes On A Plane is right up your proverbial alley.

If you show up at a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with a bag full of toast and dressed in white boxers and t-shirt, then we can count on where you will be spending every Friday night for the next 10 years - at the midnight screenings of Snakes On A Plane.

If you liked Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes, then just give up now - get your sleeping bag and five bags of Tostitos, and go camp out right now so you will be first in line to get your tickets for the opening show of Snakes On A Plane.

If you go to this movie expecting to see a cinematic work of art, then expect to be surprised (and in the distinct minority).

If you go to this movie expecting the audience to remain totally silent and never voice their approval of the overwhelming badness of this film, then you need to go off in the corner and join those six other people that just don't have a clue.

-dave
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"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' - and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' - well do you, punk?"
- Stuart Vasepuru, 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest



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