Wow, I have an 0-1 record… that’s a first. Anywho, onward to a new season of the Pre & Post Game Analysis Brought to you by Ed & Eddie Show!
Koko's X-Cats d. Rhode Island Dynamic
75-56
It’s that time of year again: the annual Pregame vs. Postgame rivalry game! Yeah, it wasn’t that exiting. The players you’d expect to score big (namely, Rhode Island’s offense) didn’t, and the players who you don’t expect to score much (namely, the X-Cat’s offense) did. Both defenses did okay, but where the Cats really struck was with their three 9s from Moulds, Jenkins, and Stover, plus a 12 from Nick Saban’s inability to throw a challenge flag- er, I mean Heath Miller. Rhode Island’s best score came from Manning’s 8 while kicking his little brother’s butt, and while everybody put up numbers for the Dynamic, they weren’t nearly enough to take down the 2003 champ.
Cooney Quest d. FIRST Force
53-44
“Both teams feature running quarterbacks, but FIRST Force features a real quarterback in Daunte Culpepper…” Let the quoting of Ed begin! Culpepper only had 2, which leads me to:
"…the Quest have a glorified running back taking snaps in Michael Vick.” Ed makes that sound like a bad thing. Vick scored 12. That wasn’t the only difference in the game, but it was a big factor. The Force’s kicker never got a chance to score, and their defense had two donuts (though props to McGee’s 15). Cooney was running with Atlanta and their 11, helping make this a victory for the Quest.
Eat My Shorts d. Silver Lobos
58-49
It’s the battle of quarterbacks who did nothing! Pamler and Green combined for -1 points, but at least Palmer can still play. EMS now needs to search for a new QB for the next few weeks. Back to the game, the Lobos had a Vinatieri 14 and a Buffalo 10, but that was all that was noticeable. EMS lost a QB, but at least nabbed 14 from Stallworth and 13 from Tomlinson. The rest of their non Trent Green players contributed, and put that 1 in their win column.
Cromer Smash! d. The Very Fast Blitz
47-39
Is it ironic that the Blitz had prettymuch no defense? Owens and Westbrook did the majority of their scoring, with 10 and 13, respectively. Whereas Cromer actually had a defense (even if it was really only Cincinnati’s 14). Tiki Barber contributed 10, and both Coles and Brown scored 8, easily surpassing the offensive accomplishments of the Blitz.
Nor Cal Crushers d. Amazin' Blue
79-42
Talk about horribly one sided. The Blue lost their second round pick, Domanick Davis, to the IR, meaning they really didn’t have a quality RB. Byron Leftwich scored 12, but there wasn’t much to add that 12 to. Nor Cal came out strong, living up to their name. Who’d have thunk Kurt Warner could score 17 (you know, other than Ed)? Certainly not me. And who the heck is London Fletcher-Baker? I have no idea, but he finished with 19 this week. And Chester Taylor had the best game of his career, giving the Crushers an additional 12. Those three would’ve won on their own. Long story short, the Crushers crushed Amazin’ Blue.
T-Hawks d. Boilers 1529
44-41
While this game was closer than it ever should’ve been thanks to Steve Smith not playing, to the Boilers credit, they did keep it interesting. Their highest score was only a 7 from Warrick Dunn, but the rest of the offense kept pace. Defenses were only slightly in the Hawks favor (more on that later). The Hawks offense was led by Shockey’s 8, and their offense kept pace as well. But in the end, it came down to this game's highest scorer: Ray Lewis with 9. T-Hawks had him, and it was just enough to edge out the Boilers.
RPI10 d. Meatball Artists
62-44
“Meatball Artists are going full bore with three running backs, but who knows how much Fred Taylor has left?” At least enough for 11.
“How long til Julius Jones ends up on the bench?” Not this week. He also had 11.
“Stephen Jackson could be big though.” Only 7. I say the word only, because while Ed was wrong about the backs, he was right about the rest of the team. Three goose eggs on defense left this game open for RPIs taking. And take it they did. Two 10s from Rudy Johnson and Plaxico Burress and an 11 from Shayne Graham led the offense. And the defense combined for 22, 15 points more than the opponent’s. It’s safe to say that this was an easy victory for RPI.
Evil Trav's Minions d. sigmakittens
84-36
The Minions had Donovan McNabb. The Kittens had Jake Plummer. Yeah. I could just end it there, but I’m contractually obligated to at least mention those twin 17s (McNabb and Frank Gore) and 10s (Bennett and Rackers). The Kittens had a 9 coming in from Jamal Lewis (nice week for the Lewis’s). It obviously wasn’t nearly enough to stop the Minions on their way to first place.
Indiana Ironmen d. {}
63-51
“How the heck do you pronounce {}?” That’s a very good question. I’m sure it’ll bug us all season long. All naming issues aside, Murphy’s Parentheses had one problem: their starting QB had an appendectomy, and their backup didn’t play (well, okay, two problems in one position). Their defense was also lacking. They had a few good things going; Jeff Wilkins scored all of the Rams 18 points, and Ronnie Brown scored 14 on Thursday. While Indiana had their fair share of problems as well (their three receivers combined for 6), they had an excellent defense led by Baltimore’s 17 and Shawne Merriman’s 12. Their non-receiving offense all cleared 6 as well. So in the end, an appendectomy and a missing defender cost the Parentheses the game. Murphy’s Law, huh?
stantheman d. Stevies Scapegoats
62-16
I think I’ve finally been stumped. I really have no clue how to analyze this one. I guess I should start by saying that the Scapegoats’ best (and practically only) score was Edgerrin James’s 9. Their defense combined for a grand total of 0. Double take if you have to, but I did just say zero. And even worse: Favre scored even lower than that! StM at least had a QB score positive points, and an actual defense (a pretty good one at that, with a combined 34). The rest of their offense contributed mostly solid numbers. Not that they needed it; this one was a massacre already.
Code:
Rank Team W-L-T Pct. Pts. Streak Change
1. Evil Trav's Minions 1-0-0 1.000 84.00 W-1 -
2. Nor Cal Crushers 1-0-0 1.000 79.00 W-1 -
3. Koko's X-Cats 1-0-0 1.000 75.00 W-1 -
4. Indiana Ironmen 1-0-0 1.000 63.00 W-1 -
5. RPI10 1-0-0 1.000 62.00 W-1 -
6. stantheman 1-0-0 1.000 62.00 W-1 -
7. Eat My Shorts 1-0-0 1.000 58.00 W-1 -
8. Cooney Quest 1-0-0 1.000 53.00 W-1 -
9. Cromer Smash! 1-0-0 1.000 47.00 W-1 -
10. T-Hawks 1-0-0 1.000 44.00 W-1 -
11. Rhode Island Dynamic 0-1-0 .000 56.00 L-1 -
12. {} 0-1-0 .000 51.00 L-1 -
13. Silver Lobos 0-1-0 .000 49.00 L-1 -
14. FIRST Force 0-1-0 .000 44.00 L-1 -
15. Meatball Artists 0-1-0 .000 44.00 L-1 -
16. Amazin' Blue 0-1-0 .000 42.00 L-1 -
17. Boilers 1529 0-1-0 .000 41.00 L-1 -
18. The Very Fast Blitz 0-1-0 .000 39.00 L-1 -
19. sigmakittens 0-1-0 .000 36.00 L-1 -
20. Stevies Scapegoats 0-1-0 .000 16.00 L-1 -
A rather humerous note is that for every game except the last, I had to cut and paste the teams around because the second team Ed had listed kept winning this week. Okay, it maeans absolutely nothing in terms of analysis, I just found it funny. See you all next week.