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Rhode Island Dynamic (0-1) d. Cooney Quest (1-0)
80-64
“So long as the Dynamic have Peyton Manning who owns the Texans and Corey Dillon who may have to split carries with Moroney but is more likely to get end zone carries, they are looking good.” Peyton Manning: 400 yards, 3 TDs, and 21 fantasy points. Dillon also added 10.
“The Quest are strong with Shaun Alexander and Reggie Bush. Michael Vick has demons to slay on Sunday against his personal enemy the Buccaneers.” Michael Vick: 127 rushing yards, 1 passing TD, 1 Rushing TD, and 16 fantasy points. Alexander and Bush also combined for 14. While this was a hard fought game by Cooney, they were a little lacking in the middle offensive and receiver positions. Whereas Rhode Island’s fleet o’ receivers combined for 22, and was the major difference in this game.
stantheman (1-0) d. Koko's X-Cats (1-0)
53-43
“Having Aaron Brooks as your starting fantasy QB is like playing chicken with a train five feet from you with your back turned.” No real reason for me quoting that, I just wanted to hear it again. Plus, that’s one psychic point for Ed. Aaron Brooks subtracted 5 from StM’s score. Luckily, they had Maroney’s 12, Chicago’s 13, and Urlacher’s 11 to help offset this. Also important to note was that everyone (other than Brooks) contributed at least a point. Half the X-Cats defense looked great; Carolina had 10 and Julius Peppers scored 18. The other half, unfortunately, was a grand total of 0. There were also two 0s on offense, and nobody really stuck out for them. So despite a -5 from StM’s QB, they manage to hold on for the win.
FIRST Force (0-1) d. Eat My Shorts (1-0)
70-55
“EMS has LaDanian Tomlinson. They don't really need much else.” That first sentence is accurate; he had 17. The second sentence, not so much. While that 17 is certainly impressive, only two other players cleared 3.
“FIRST Force needs Daunte Culpepper to play much better and something out of Domanic Rhodes.” They combined for 16. Good, not great. Enter Antonio Bryant and Adrian Wilson, who added 27 more. And all but one of the Force’s players cleared 3. So yes, EMS had LaDanian Tomlinson. But no, they really needed more.
Silver Lobos (0-1) d. Cromer Smash! (1-0)
66-40
It was a game full of surprises for the Smash; Pennington scored 13 in a losing effort against the Patriots, a Packer receiver scored 9, and their defense had three zeroes. The Lobos had a normal game though; Palmer scored 12, Vinatieri tallied 13, and their most remotely backward score this week had Buffalo taking in 15 points. Everybody contributed at least their small share, allowing the Lobos to sail to their second victory.
Nor Cal Crushers (1-0) d. The Very Fast Blitz (0-1)
65-30
Blitz: Defense: Non-existent: Irony. And other than Westbrook and Addai combining for 16, that was their story. Crushers: Defense: Actually there: Crushing. It was worth a combined 25. And wait, there’s more! (you see, that’s my way of making this sound more exciting.

) Nor Cal added 14 thanks to Darrell Jackson. And while they didn’t have the greatest showings at QB and RB, they at least held their own. Alright, you all know Nor Cal won, I’m just trying to make this review look longer.
Amazin' Blue(0-1) d. T-Hawks (1-0)
42-31
We have a pretty lackluster game here, so I’ll give the basics. QBs were even, defenses were even, kicking was prettymuch even, and receiving was nigh even. Amazin’ Blue opened up this game though with their three running backs. Tatum Bell, Kevin Faulk, and Michael Turner combined for 17 points, all unanswered by the T-Hawks. It gave the Blue their first win.
RPI10 (1-0) d. Boilers 1529 (0-1)
81-45
You know, even if the Boilers could put up more than Glenn’s 10 and Brees’s 8 (plus a couple 7s), they still would’ve lost. They were already outdone with Manning’s 18 and Burress’s 12. And to top things off, RPI’s Rudy Johnson scored an unanswered 20. This gave the rest of the offense the ability to slack off (which, in all fairness, they did). But the defense was right there picking up the slack, making this game over before it began.
Evil Trav's Minions (1-0) d. Meatball Artists (0-1)
75-33
This game looks remarkably similar to the last one… On one side is three offensive players with decent scores (McNabb, Gore, and Chambers combined for 35), the rest of the offensive not showing up, and the defense doing their job (and mad props to Adalius Thomas and his 21). On the other side is a couple players scoring decently, but nothing the rest of the way down. Okay, so McNabb, Gore, and Chambers could’ve won on their own. So could the Minion’s defense, which combined for 36. We’re in “do the math” territory here.
Indiana Ironmen (1-0) d. sigmakittens (0-1)
75-38
Hey, Jake Plummer scored 7 more points than last week for the Kittens! Okay, so that’s still only a 1, but it is an improvement. Also unfortunately for the kitties, the best thing they had going for them was their defense, and their combined 23 was barely decent. The Ironmen’s only good offensive score was Chad Johnson’s 9, but they absolutely dominated on defense. Led by Baltimore’s 24 (highest single score of the week, BTW), this defensive outfit took 43 altogether. That alone is enough for a victory. The rest is just icing on the cake. Mmm… icing…
Stevies Scapegoats (0-1) d. {} (0-1)
65-41
The Scapegoats did all their work on Sunday night. Actually, four players did all their work for them: Joey Galloway (10), Jerricho Cotchery (13), Ryan Longwell (14), and Tampa Bay (13). Murphy’s Sunday, not Monday Squad did some work on Sunday too (DeAngelo Hall’s 12, Seattle’s 10, and Donald Driver’s 8), and were hoping to finish the job on Monday. You’d figure Roethlisberger and Porter would at least make this a close one (and in this analyst’s opinion, a good chance at victory). But no, the Steelers got pwned on Monday night, Roethlisberger and Porter combined for -2, and MS,nMS remains winless.
Code:
Rank Team W-L-T Pct. Pts. Streak F.Rank Change
1. Evil Trav's Minions 2-0-0 1.000 159.00 W-2 1 ±0
2. Nor Cal Crushers 2-0-0 1.000 144.00 W-2 2 ±0
3. RPI10 2-0-0 1.000 143.00 W-2 3 +2
4. Indiana Ironmen 2-0-0 1.000 138.00 W-2 4 ±0
5. stantheman 2-0-0 1.000 115.00 W-2 8 +1
6. Rhode Island Dynamic 1-1-0 .500 136.00 W-1 5 +5
7. Koko's X-Cats 1-1-0 .500 118.00 L-1 6 -4
8. Cooney Quest 1-1-0 .500 117.00 L-1 7 ±0
9. Silver Lobos 1-1-0 .500 115.00 W-1 8 +4
10. FIRST Force 1-1-0 .500 114.00 W-1 10 +4
11. Eat My Shorts 1-1-0 .500 113.00 L-1 11 -4
12. Cromer Smash! 1-1-0 .500 87.00 L-1 13 -3
13. Amazin' Blue 1-1-0 .500 84.00 W-1 15 +3
14. Stevies Scapegoats 1-1-0 .500 81.00 W-1 16 +6
15. T-Hawks 1-1-0 .500 75.00 L-1 18 -5
16. {} 0-2-0 .000 92.00 L-2 12 -4
17. Boilers 1529 0-2-0 .000 86.00 L-2 14 ±0
18. Meatball Artists 0-2-0 .000 77.00 L-2 17 -3
19. sigmakittens 0-2-0 .000 74.00 L-2 19 ±0
20. The Very Fast Blitz 0-2-0 .000 69.00 L-2 20 -2
You'll notice a new stat in the standings: F.Rank. This is your ranking when it comes to fantasy points. I added this to help with my playoff analyses in the second half of the season, and because the highest ranking team in fantasy points gets an award at the end of the season (yes, I actually plan on giving out awards at the end of the season, really). It'll be called the Top Gun Award (shamelessly stolen from the list of Battlecry awards, not to be confused with the #1 Seed Award) I'll hopefully have a full list by the time my first half analysis goes up after week VII.
That being said, I'll see you all next week.