Yay, Ed’s back!
Rhode Island Dynamic (5-3) d. Indiana Ironmen (5-3)
73-36
All I’m going to say is that Manning/Brady should’ve been better. But it was completely one-sided in favor of the Dynamic’s Peyton Maning with a fantasy score of 13, which is 17 more than Brady (with -4) had for the Ironmen. And here’s the irony: the only Patriot to hit the end zone (Corey Dillon; he did it twice) was on Rhode Island’s roster giving them another 11 points. Add Wes Welker’s 10 (for those of us who aren’t my biased self, I ask: who?
) and Champ Bailey’s 15 from the defense, and Rhode Island easily wins this one.
Koko's X-Cats (4-4) d. Evil Trav's Minions (6-2)
72-52
“It's the tale of two running backs as Fantasy Football studs Larry Johnson of the X-Cats and Tiki Barber of the Minions go head to head and both are in line for good days…” 15 and 14, respectively. In fact, the only edge the Minions got in this game was the QB battle, with Kitna of all people scoring 10. Everything else was either even, or widely skewed in favor of the X-Cats. The two biggest discrepancies were in the kicker spot (Stover had 14) and on defense (led by Rashean Mathis’s 12, the X-Cats’ defense combined for 35), allowing the X-Cats to take their second straight.
RPI10 (2-6) d. Cooney Quest (2-5-1)
59-54
It’s official: Cooney Quest just can’t catch a break. The one week Michael Vick underperforms is the one week Cooney really needed an extra five points. Though to be fair, the only reason the game was so close anyway was because of a 19 from Phil Dawson. Which was equaled by RPI’s Miami marching into Soldier Field and out-Bearing the Bears. Other good things for RPI included 10 from Graham, 9 from Rudi Johnson, and 8 from Rashied Davis. They were smaller scores, but large enough for RPI to finally break their six-game losing streak.
T-Hawks (5-2-1) d. Eat My Shorts (5-3)
53-44
“Eat My Shorts is going to ride LaDanian Tomlinson til he drops dead from exhaustion. The question is, are they going to get anything from anyone else? Deuce McAllister should do some damage today.” If this doesn’t get Ed a psychic point, nothing will. LT gave EMS 28 points, and that “some damage” from McAllister equaled 7 points. But, to answer Ed’s question, they didn’t get anything from anybody else. Brad Johnson even took away six points from EMS’s total.
“The T-Hawks have Tomlinson’s quarterback who benefits from his presence and takes advantage of it.” Phillip Rivers scored 8.
“Jeremy Shockey could be brutal today.” He had 9. Not quite brutal, but a nice contribution nonetheless. The rest of the T-Hawks victory came from Hanson’s 12 and EMS’s lack of defense.
Nor Cal Crushers (6-2) d. Cromer Smash! (2-5-1)
108-43
You know what? Even if Cromer had backups for their three byes, they still would’ve gotten their butts kicked, bruised, and handed back to them on a platter. I’ll just mention their 18 points from Willie Parker going to waste, and move on. And what we’re moving onto is the second team to hit triple digits in the same number of weeks. Nor Cal’s defense was simply amazing, with Fletcher, McGee, and Jacksonville combining for 44. Their offense was just as amazing, with Kevin Jones, Josh Scobee, Clinton Portis, and David Carr combining for 52. So I’m reasonably sure the appropriately named Crushers won.
Stevies Scapegoats (2-6) d. FIRST Force (3-4-1)
75-43
After five straight losses, the Scapegoats were looking to stop the bleeding against FIRST Force, who has been struggling as of late. FIRST Force’s struggling was only exacerbated by having no running game and a receiving game not likely to induce fear in anyone. They won the QB battle with Romo, but said receiving game was dominated by the Scapegoats’ Joey Galloway and Roy Williams combining for 29. While defense wasn’t quite as lopsided, the Scapegoats’ also got some insurance scoring from Denver (16) and DeMeco Ryans (10). The Scapegoats needed this game badly, and they won it.
{} (2-6) d. Silver Lobos (5-3)
67-64
“The Silver Lobos have Rex Grossman who lives off of weak opponents at home. Does he need any one else?” Apparently so, because as early in the review as this is, the -1 at the QB spot was easily the difference in this game. Murphy’s Streakers (ew) incorrect QB decision only cost them 1 point this week (Losman had 6). I’ll be fair: the Lobos played well, with impressive scores coming from Marvin Harrison (20, in the process of helping Peyton Manning kick both the Patriots’ and Ironmen’s collective butts), Darrent Williams (15), and Cato June (11). But the Streakers (ew) got a lot of that defensive scoring back with a combined score of 26. Their offensive scores were slightly better too, including two receivers who combined for 23. In a game that could’ve gone either way, it all comes back to Grossman not doing his job, and the Streakers (ew) having a QB contribute enough points to give them their first winning streak of the season.
The Very Fast Blitz (2-6) d. sigmakittens (1-7)
57-47
Truth be told, this game wasn’t very exciting. The Sigmakittens’ best score was Jake Plummer’s 16 while the Blitz had Tony Gonzalez with 15. But here is what the league takeover added to the Blitz: an actual defense. Not a great one (it only combined for 17), but one that took advantage of a Tampa Bay -3 and a bye from their opponents’ defense. With the rest of the game even (and not in a good way), defenses were the factor in the Blitz’s third win.
Meatball Artists (4-4) d. Amazin' Blue (7-1)
47-23
“Man! Did Amazin' Blue screw this week up! They’re in second place and left their roster in disarray. What's up with that?” Actually, while they could’ve replaced one of their defensive players on a bye, they still weren’t looking too good. And when your best score is T.J. Houshmandzadeh with 9, it’s time to call it a day. The Artist’s roster was in less disarray. It even had Stephen Jackson’s 14 and Marc Bulger’s 9. For the first time this season, the Artists have a winning record.
stantheman (7-1) vs. Boilers 1529 (3-5)
88-63
The Boilers had two faults this week. The first is that two of their players were on byes (one even had a backup they could’ve put in). They had good scores such as Brees’s 19, Muhammad and Ayodele’s matching 10s, and Dunn’s 9. Then you see those two goose eggs from byes, and it hurts your eyes to see. Their second fault was not actually their fault, but it hurt them nonetheless. It was facing the "not quite dominant, but wins when they need to" STM. And didn’t Javon Walker’s 28 for STM look pretty? Of course, that wasn’t all. They also had Garrard’s 15 (Leftwich who?) and a pair of 10s from Maroney and Urlacher. STM, as usual, remains in first place.
Code:
Rank Team W-L-T Pct. Pts. Streak F.Rank Change
1. stantheman 8-1-0 .889 547.00 W-3 4 ±0
2. Nor Cal Crushers 7-2-0 .778 633.00 W-1 2 +2
3. Amazin' Blue 7-2-0 .778 474.00 L-1 11 -1
4. T-Hawks 6-2-1 .722 542.00 W-1 6 +1
5. Rhode Island Dynamic 6-3-0 .667 642.00 W-3 1 +1
6. Evil Trav's Minions 6-3-0 .667 600.00 L-2 3 -3
7. Koko's X-Cats 5-4-0 .556 544.00 W-2 5 +3
8. Silver Lobos 5-4-0 .556 541.00 L-1 7 ±0
9. Indiana Ironmen 5-4-0 .556 523.00 L-1 8 -2
10. Eat My Shorts 5-4-0 .556 477.00 L-1 10 -1
11. Meatball Artists 5-4-0 .556 438.00 W-2 16 ±0
12. FIRST Force 3-5-1 .389 486.00 L-3 9 ±0
13. Stevies Scapegoats 3-6-0 .333 463.00 W-1 13 +4
13. Boilers 1529 3-6-0 .333 463.00 L-3 13 ±0
15. RPI10 3-6-0 .333 448.00 W-1 15 +1
16. {} 3-6-0 .333 434.00 W-2 17 +2
17. The Very Fast Blitz 3-6-0 .333 410.00 W-1 19 +2
18. Cooney Quest 2-6-1 .278 473.00 L-1 12 -4
19. Cromer Smash! 2-6-1 .278 430.00 L-3 18 -4
20. sigmakittens 1-8-0 .111 407.00 L-2 20 ±0
Two teams tied at 13th, both with the 13th highest fantasy scores. What are the odds?
Playoff Picture: We're still in magic number territory here. STM will clinch with 3 wins, Crushers, Blue, and Hawks will clinch with 4 wins, and Dynamic and Minions will clinch with five wins (i.e., winning out). I know, there are a zillion other possibilities and permutations to the playoff picture right now, but what do I look like, Supernerd?
Uh, don't answer that.
Well, I'll see you all next week.