[petek]

Kim,

My sympathies for your loss - I lost my father when I was 15 and I know the toll it can take. In retrospect I realize that I went through the "four stages" (denial, anger, depression and acceptance) not about his death, but rather, how much the loss meant to me and how it would affect me. It took me a long time to realize that, and because I didn't address it at the time, I now believe that I subconciously rebelled against my father and his values for long after his death.

At the time one high school teacher really tried to reach out to me - to help me deal with my loss, and to help both me and my mother by being something of a father figure for me. However, because I was in denial over my own state, I rejected his attempts, to my loss.

I know it's easy to get annoyed by well-meaning (and often condescending) people at a time like this, and some may not be all that sincere in their offers, but if I had accepted a little of that man's help and advise, I might have saved myself some the years of subliminal grief and problems caused by my denial of my loss.

p.s. Congratulations on sticking with Girl Scouts this far and pursuing the Gold Award. I think your choice of project is an excellent one. I am the very proud father of a Gold Awardee and know what dedication it takes.