[Stephi Rae]

FIRST is hands-down the best thing that has ever happened to me, and honestly I feel like I owe you all the story. I may not know you, I may have never met you, but you are a part of something so big, so powerful, so wonderful that has changed so many lives, now including my own, that even though the story is not over, I would like to share it.

I don't think I will ever know the true reason that I joined my school's FIRST team. I enjoy technical things, building things, and I had a close friend that had decided to join. Neither of us had any idea about what we were getting into. I didn't take it very seriously in the beginning, I would miss meetings for soccer games and practices, etc, or go and work on my former senior project. The build season started, and not much changed. There was more work to be done, and we met more often, but I still wasn't sure about the whole thing. I kind of just stayed back. Aside from designing the electrical system, and assembling the chassis, I really didn't take any initiative whatsoever. I was the secretary, so I had a leadership role, but I didn't have any ideas to contribute, or anything like that. One day before ship when we broke part of our lift system and decided to go for an arm with 24 hours left, I started to get ideas. A little late, and none of them were used, but I started to get the hang of it.

Our first regional was intense. We had to build the entire arm on thursday. I was needed, and useful. I contributed. I got to know those guys more in that one day than during the entire six week build. It also took me away from all of the crap in life. When I got back, returning to life hit me like a brick wall. I was soon diagnosed with clinical depression. First of all, if it weren't for FIRST, I don't think that I would have wanted to get better, but I could tell that it had effected me throughout the build season, and at the competition as well. Our second regional and the champs are what have kept me going, kept me fighting to get over this mountain, and I finally feel like I am making some ground. Not everyone on the team really knows what's been going on with me lately, but Mr. Steele, our coach does, and I really appreciate his support and understanding. Some of the other members know a little, and parents too. Soon I plan on talking to the rest of them, each and every one of them has helped me through this, even if they don't know it.

The depression set in when I realized that everything that I was doing in my life was for my parents, and not for myself. One day I just "woke up" and realized that I didn't agree with them. It sounds like teenage rebellion, but its much more than that. I didn't, and still have know clue about who I am, other than that I am not that person. Soccer is not my life. Anymore. I had to fight my parents to go to every robotics meeting. The moment that I quit soccer, I went straight to the meeting that I was missing. It was the best feeling in the world. I took each of my parents to a competition, and they are now beginning to understand a little of why I love it so much. What they don't understand, is that I am doing it for me. For the first time, it is something that I want to do. They fought me on it because my only excuse for wanting to do it was because "I liked it." They wanted a more beneficial reason, and I didn't want to have to make my case. I wanted that to be good enough. FIRST has taught me that sometimes doing something because it makes you feel good, even if it doesn't benefit you is alright. Is GOOD! Gracious Professionalism is the most amazing thing that I have ever experienced. FIRST is the only thing that is going to make it through this time in my life, and will be a part of my life until the day I die. FIRST has given me the courage, confidence, and bravery to stand up to my parents and tell them that FIRST is good for me because I like it, and I don't need any other reasons than that. Yes, it will help pay for college, and it has renewed the direction in my life, but that's not why I do it, and that's not what's important.

I do it because I love FIRST, math, technology, GP, and everything else, and that is more than enough.

(I apologize for the horrendously lengthy post)