87 points, and I still get clobbered. Now I know how Carson Palmer feels...
Indiana Ironmen (1-0) d. Rhode Island Drive (0-1)
122-87
Rhode Island had a pretty big turnaround from last week. This review isn't about them. What this review will focus on is our second triple-digit score in as many weeks. The Ironmen's troika of receivers combined for 6 TDs. That's right, a combined 60 fantasy points came from Steve Smith, Chad Johnson, and Calvin Johnson. Now, to the Drive's credit, that alone wasn't nearly enough to win. That's where Indiana's defensive unit came in. The New England DEF, Lance Briggs, and Antonio Pierce added another 39 points. And as if they weren't piling on enough, they also made sure that all but one of their players cleared the five-point marker. I mean, 87 is a very good score, and Indiana completely clobbered it. Go Ironmen!
Youngstown Hitmen (0-1) d. Koko's X-Cats (0-1)
74-40
"The X-Cats could be in trouble unless Phillip Rivers starts performing better, because both Marshawn Lynch and Travis Henry could be slowed down by tough defenses." And that's it in a nutshell, folks. Phillip Rivers certainly isn't throwing like he did last season, and Lynch and Henry combining for only 11 did absolutely nothing to help matters. And even worse was the X-Cats' (lack of) defense. The Hitmen actually played on par with the X-Cats, except that they had big scores to fill in the holes. Delhomme's 17, last year's number-one draft pick Mario Williams's 15, and TO's 10 were easily the difference makers in this game, sending a victory Youngstown's way.
FIRST Force (1-0) d. What Am I Doing Here (1-0)
115-86
What am I doing here? Pulling my hair out trying to figure how I'm going to make this review look different from the Rhode Island/Indiana game up top (and believe me, that's a lot of hair). I'll start with the irony of all ironys: FIRST Force had Carson Palmer's 29 points (I mean seriously, how does one throw six TDs, and still lose?), and Houshmandzadeh also benefited from that with 15 of his own. Those were the two highest scores on the Force's end, but their "lower" scorers included Jeff Reed (14), Willie Parker (13), Terrence McGee (11), and Donnie Edwards (11). WAIDH played an excellent game, and the ultimate irony (I don't know how we managed to top Force having Palmer, but we try
) is that except in the QB slot, the scorecards were amazingly even; just look at Edgerrin, Portis, Denver, and Adailius Thomas. In fact, had both QBs scored even, WAIDH has their second victory. But FIRST Force is the 2-0 team here. Finally, just to add one more bit of irony:
"FIRST Force may have the advantage at quarterback with Carson Palmer taking advantage of the pathetic Browns...". Ed was right too, and the Browns
still won!
The XaulZans (1-0) d. Nor Cal Crushers (1-0)
81-44
It was clear that the Zans' Tony Romo was going to take the QB battle over the Crushers' J.P. Lossman (Ed even mentioned it in his pregame analysis), but is anyone else as surprised as me to be seeing Frank Gore and Rudi Johnson combine for 26 on the XaulZans' side? For Nor Cal, Westbrook and Jackson (normally good) were held to just 11. And their defense couldn't pick up nearly enough of the slack. The Zans won the defensive battle anyway, crushing the Crushers in the process.
Dunedain (0-1) d. Silver Lobos (1-0)
96-78
Did I mention Dunedain was back? Because the Lobos found this out the hard way. Peyton Manning was stuck in the single digits for them, which means either the Colts got creamed, or Dunedain's Joseph Addai came up big. It was the latter. And their QB (Favre in this case) looked a decade younger, throwing for 16 points. Both teams had receivers scoring 19, and the Lobos had a better defense, so the difference in this game was the fact that Dunedain won
all the offensive battles. And just to add more to the irony bucket, Dunedain scored 96 points, and it was only the third highest score of the week.
Team Jack (0-1) d. Isotopes (1-0)
60-32
Um... I believe "yeouch" is the word to use here. The Isotopes were stuck with good players on bad weeks and a poor defense. What are you going to do, right? Team Jack had a similar situation (at least with their good players), but they were already halfway to victory with Brady's 16. Their defense didn't suffer as badly as the Isotopes', and while Team Jack's stars, for the most part, were quiet this week, their auxiliary players scored plenty. In fact, all but three players had more than five points, and while it wasn't spectacular by any sense of the word, it was still enough for what matters most: a plus-one in the win column.
The Stud Man Clan (0-1) d. Stevies Scapegoats (0-1)
74-50
"The Scapegoats may have to find a way to win without Larry Johnson, who will find the Bears stacking the box against him the same way they did against LT last week." That's one psychic point awarded to Ed. LJ was held to just 3 points.
"Their savior is Jon Kitna? Unfortunately for the Scapegoats, a resounding "no".
"So long as Shaun Alexander is on your side, things are good." Yeah, good for the Clan. While he "only" had 9, that 18 from Randy Moss (he's back!) was a nice boon. Neil Rackers (game-winning FGs For The, um, Win!) and the Dallas DEF both added 12 points taking the Clan out the ranks of the winless.
Code:
Rank Team W-L-T Pct. Pts. Streak F.Rank Change
1. Indiana Ironmen 2-0-0 1.000 204 W-2 1 +3
2. FIRST Force 2-0-0 1.000 198 W-2 2 ±0
3. The XaulZans 2-0-0 1.000 159 W-2 5 +2
4. Silver Lobos 1-1-0 .500 180 L-1 3 -3
5. What Am I Doing Here 1-1-0 .500 168 L-1 4 -2
6. Dunedain 1-1-0 .500 156 W-1 6 +4
7. Youngstown Hitmen 1-1-0 .500 127 W-1 8 +6
8. The Stud Man Clan 1-1-0 .500 121 W-1 9 +6
9. Team Jack 1-1-0 .500 118 W-1 10 +3
10. Nor Cal Crushers 1-1-0 .500 114 L-1 11 -4
11. Isotopes 1-1-0 .500 86 L-1 14 -4
12. Rhode Island Drive 0-2-0 .000 146 L-2 7 -1
13. Stevies Scapegoats 0-2-0 .000 114 L-2 11 -4
14. Koko's X-Cats 0-2-0 .000 112 L-2 13 -6
Five scores over 85, and two of them in losing efforts... that's gotta be a record. I have to say though, reviewing this week was funner than usual.
I'll catch you all next week, same postgame time, same postgame channel.