Very long response alert!
Oh my. It almost sounds like something happened or someone said something to the mentor about you that has the mentor sending off all of the negative signals. Can you think of some interchange or some way that you demonstrated poor leadership or decision-making that would have had a negative impact on the team? Or do you truly have no clue why it seems he is out to get you?
You are in one of those vicious cycles…the mentor is being negative, which allows the other veteran students to be negative toward you which make you act negatively toward all of them which leads the mentor…you get the idea. But now the cycle needs to be broken and it is up to you.
So first of all – you are not wrong in having these concerns. I have a big problem with any adult in any group that says things that any student perceives as demeaning and with the intent to lower a student’s self esteem. Not even in fun. Never. There is no reason for any activity where you give your time to ever leave you with those feelings. Especially not FIRST robotics. That defeats the meaning of the I for Inspiration.
What can you do?
Direct Contact – unfortunately the best recommendation I can give is for you to ask the mentor to find a time to talk to you.
(Aside: You say he is not the kind that is easy to talk to. You are specifically calling him a mentor, which means to me non-teacher. If he is a member of a technical community then his lack of approachability is a trait that he needs to work on and is one of the best things FIRST can teach a mentor – how to be able to communicate positively about non-technical issues. And yes, that is from personal experience.)
Plan ahead to suggest a neutral location (coffee shop, local park) and have specific times available. If he suggests – right now, in the hall… tell him that you really need a separate time and place so that you are not taking away from team time.
Write down your thoughts. Rewrite them to put them in as positive of a light as possible. Example: instead of saying “I need to know why you hate me” say something like “I can tell that something as happened so that you don’t think I deserve to be considered a team leader anymore, and I really need your help to get that back.” Or “I really love Robotics and the team and think I have a lot to offer, but I’m getting the feeling that you don’t think I’m an asset to the team." Make a list of the ways you thought you benefited the team last year and so far this year. Make a list of your goals for this year and how you can help or need help with them.
Indirect Contact 1 – Is there a teacher, other advisor or adult you can go to? Someone who can counsel you, and intervene if necessary? Use the same positive approach as above.
Indirect Contact 2 – Can you confer with any of the other students? Approach one or two at the most and the ones whom you feel would be the least confrontational. – Ask if they know why the mentor seems to have such a negative impression of you. If they say “oh, you know,” make sure they know that you don’t know. Ask for advice on how you can get along better with the other students. Ask if they have any ideas on team building activities that the whole team can do to bring all of the students together.
Non-contact – You alone. Take off your negative hat and put on your “life is good” hat. Don't have one of those? Go get it! Find your sense of humor and your internal voice that is saying over an over “I’m a cool kid, I have a lot to add to the team.” Come in to the team meetings with a positive attitude. Ignore the bad vibes like they aren’t there. Volunteer when you can help. Be a leader in attitude and in action and don’t worry about the acknowledgement. Find good things to do behind the scenes. Are you a writer? Document some of the team’s activities, lessons learned from the past year, progress toward goals. That always comes in handy for preparing chairman’s essays. And here is a big – go out on a limb – idea, write a WFA essay for your current mentor. Seek out all of the positive impacts he has had our your team. (Get input from other team members). If you are writing something positive about someone, it will be way easier to think positively about him or her.
Oh dear… I can go on…but someone else can take it from here.