Can Devin Hester play quarterback?
Rhode Island Drive (1-2) d. Nor Cal Crushers (2-1)
74-53
I bet the Crushers are cursing the idiots who kept kicking the ball to Devin Hester; up front, you can plainly see that his 22 was a big factor in this game. But even if he had only gotten 2 points, Rhode Island still would've won. Why? Well for starters, Brian Westbrook didn't play, and since it was a gametime decision for a late game, Nor Cal wasn't able to get anyone into his spot. The rest of the Drive's offense was better than the Crushers' too, including actual, positive points from Brian Griese. Nor Cal had double-digit scores from Josh Brown and Shawne Merriman, but those minute gains in the kicking and defensive games weren't enough to offset Rhode Island's consistent offensive scoring. Also, Devin Hester had 22. I'm just saying.
What Am I Doing Here (2-1) d. Koko's X-Cats (0-3)
65-56
What am I doing here? I'm trying to figure out how LT gets 15 for WAIDH, while Rivers gets negative points for the X-Cats. I'm going to stick at the QB point for just a moment because it's an important one: WAIDH's Matt Shaub won the QB battle by 11. It's fairly important because the rest of the scorecard is eerily even. Defenses were knotted up at 18, they both had a single scoreless player on offense, both mid-offenses scored 31 points, and the X-Cats only took kicking by 2. So if you're the X-Cats, you're cursing at Phillip Rivers (literally) for, *ahem*, dropping the ball. Bad joke, I know, but the X-Cats are stuck as the lone winless team now because of it.
FIRST Force (2-1) d. Indiana Ironmen (2-1)
61-46
Ironmen: great on defense, not so great on offense (QB not withstanding). Actually, I should make special notice of the Ironmen's defense; it was fairly consistent, combining for 30. Even Roethlisberger pitched in 9 points. But the rest of the Ironmen were a bit on the rusty side, as you can tell by their relatively low final score. Meanwhile, FIRST Force is coming at them with a nifty WR duo of Coles and Houshmandzadeh worth a combined 23. Their defense wasn't exactly slacking, either, with Terrance McGee leading the way with 10. More and higher scores are what keep FIRST Force in first place.
Silver Lobos (2-1) d. Youngstown Hitmen (1-2)
68-42
The Silver Lobos had Peyton Manning. Really, is there anything else I need to say? Actually, yes, because even if you subtract his 21 points, the Lobos are still winning. Youngstown's only three scores of note were Vinatieri's 8, Julian Peterson's 10, and Chicago's shocking 16. That was all. Three gooseeggs and two singles were devastatingly obvious on the Hitmen's side of things. The Lobos actually lost the defensive battle, but not by much. They also had Adrian Peterson and his 10 on offense. And look: no zeros! Also, Peyton Manning had 21. Again, I'm just saying.
The XaulZans (2-1) d. Isotopes (2-1)
86-56
The XaulZans had Tony Romo... yeah, yeah, you've heard it before. How even without his 24, the Zans would still be victorious. It's the same thing as the previous game. The 'Topes had three scores of note: Santonio Holmes (19), Mason Crosby (11), & Braylon Edwards (10). The 'Topes also had two zeros and two -1s (IOW, they had McNabb). The Zans Dominated on defense, winning that category by 19. There was also Kaeding's 12 and Witten's 9, plus everybody scored. Also, Tony Romo... oh, nevermind. We all know who won.
Stevies Scapegoats (0-3) d. Dunedain (1-2)
70-62
Finally, a 20+ score that actually determines the outcome of a game. In this case, it was the Detroit DEF, of all entities, tacking on 20 points for the Scapegoats. The rest of their scores were all in the single digits, but of those nine remaining, seven scored at least 5. Dunedain had more big scores, with Seattle leading the way with 15, Addai & Favre getting 13 and 12, respectively, and Gabril Wilson scoring 10. But unfortunately, the rest of their scores left something to be desired, with all six of their remaining players scoring five or less. The Scapegoats worked hard this week, and that hard work got them their first win.
Team Jack (2-1) d. The Stud Man Clan (2-1)
61-59
In case you've been going along the entire review wondering who has Randy Moss and Ronnie Brown, look no further. The Clan got 34 from them. And then there's the ultimate sacrilege of keeping someone on a bye in your lineup, especially in such a close game. It would come back to haunt them. On Sunday, the Jack defense totaled the Clan defense, but it looked like the game was still well-in-hand for the Clan with a rather lackluster offensive showing from Team Jack. But then Monday Night Football came along. With Moss scoring as high as he did, obviously Team Jack's Tom Brady must've done something too. In this case, it was worth 14 points. They also got 12 from the Patriots' primary back from that game, Sammy Morris. It's amazing what a last-minute sub can do for a team. In this case, it's
just enough for Team Jack to squeak by to victory.
Code:
Rank Team W-L-T Pct. Pts. Streak F.Rank Change
1. FIRST Force 3-1-0 .750 320 W-1 1 ±0
2. Silver Lobos 3-1-0 .750 315 W-2 2 +1
3. What Am I Doing Here 3-1-0 .750 305 W-2 3 +1
4. The XaulZans 3-1-0 .750 295 W-1 5 +1
5. Team Jack 3-1-0 .750 242 W-3 10 +3
6. Indiana Ironmen 2-2-0 .500 301 L-2 4 -4
7. Rhode Island Drive 2-2-0 .500 283 W-2 7 +4
8. Nor Cal Crushers 2-2-0 .500 257 L-1 8 -2
9. The Stud Man Clan 2-2-0 .500 244 L-1 9 -2
10. Isotopes 2-2-0 .500 223 L-1 13 -1
11. Dunedain 1-3-0 .250 294 L-2 6 -1
12. Youngstown Hitmen 1-3-0 .250 239 L-2 11 ±0
13. Stevies Scapegoats 1-3-0 .250 229 W-1 12 ±0
14. Koko's X-Cats 0-4-0 .000 215 L-4 14 -1
And now we're down to one winless team. Can Koko and his X-Cats finally break free and win one? Can FIRST Force keep first place for a third straight week? Find out next time.