I'd like to thank the special teams of the Minnesota Vikings for being stupid enough to kick to Devin Hester.
Rhode Island Drive (2-3) d. Isotopes (2-3)
111-45
You've heard of running back by committee, you've heard of bullpen by committee, now, the Rhode Island Drive present you with their quarterback by committee! Brees and Griese both sat on the Drive's bench (though to their credit, they did both hit double digits) while Derek Anderson started. Who's Derek Anderson? I have no idea (okay, I do, but I'm feigning ignorance in an attempt to sound unbiased
), but quoth Ed:
"Derek Anderson could be their home run hitter this week.", and he did put up 22. The downside was that the Isotpes had Braylon Edwards, who caught all three of Anderson's touchdown passes and ended the week with 21. Their QB wasn't nearly as good though, as McNabb only scored 8. In fact, the rest of the team wasn't nearly as good either, and nobody else on the 'Topes scored more than 4. Rhode Island had a heck of a lot more backup. Not mentioned yet were Devin Hester's 26, Jerious Norwood's 16 (a combined 497 yards between the two), Eric Wright's 12, and the fact that only two players failed to score 6 or more. Simply put, this was a blowout.
Koko's X-Cats (0-5) d. FIRST Force (3-2)
81-68
"After being humbled by 'God-Don't-Like-Ugly' twist of fate, the X-Cats learned their lesson and put the Chargers and their quarterback back in their starting positions." Yeah, I don't know what that means either, but it did sound cool. Also, while Rivers didn't do very well (though neither did Pennington, making this a moot point), the San Diego DEF led a very powerful defensive showing from the X-cats with 13. Also put back in his place on the Cats' roster was Julius Peppers, who matched that 13. The X-Cats defense combined for an impressive 46 when all was said and done. They also had some much-needed offensive help from Tony Gonzalez (18) and Steven Gostkowski (12). Much of FIRST Force's score came from two sources: T.J. Houshmandzadeh's 20 and Baltimore's 19. But beyond Carson Palmer winning the QB battle by 8, there wasn't much help from the rest of the Force's offense, and the rest of their defense couldn't live up to Baltimore's standards. Finally, the most important thing this week is that the X-Cats finally won. Yay, X-Cats!
Silver Lobos (4-1) d. What Am I Doing Here (4-1)
103-78
"Game of the week? MMmmmmaaaaybeee. But with LaDainian Tomlinson, Plaxico Burress, Clinton Portis and Edgerrin James on WAIDH's side, mmmmmmmmmmaaaayyyybe not." What am I doing here? Well first, I'm going to suggest to Ed that he get his "m" key checked; it appears to be stuck.
Second, I'm going to point out how Tomlinson, James, & Burress managed to combine for 54, and WAIDH still loses.
"I could be wrong if Jeff Garcia is big against the Titans." Well relatively speaking, his 10 for the Lobos was rather small. But a: he won the QB battle by 9, and b: I only say "relatively small" because the Lobos had Adrian Peterson and his amazing 37. Adding Burleson's 11, the Lobos only have a 4-point edge, so how did the scoring margin get so darned big? The main difference in this game is that of the rest of WAIDH's players, five of them scored 1 miserable point, whereas only one player on the Silver Lobos's scorecard scored less than 5. Those little points differences all over the scoreboard added up significantly, and while it wasn't as big a scoring difference as the Drive/'Topes game up top, it was still a very overpowering win.
Indiana Ironmen (3-2) d. Nor Cal Crushers (2-3)
57-54
"The Crushers got Eli Manning to feed on the roadkill formerly known as the Atlanta Falcons..." I LOL'd at this one, personally (and the "shooting down the Jets" line was clever too). But it brings me to my next point:
"When Gus Frerotte is your best hope for victory how much hope can you really have? Apparently, the Ironmen had a few stockpiles of hope left over from their miracle playoff run last season, because Frerotte's -9 is exactly how NOT to win a game. But the 17-point advantage Nor Cal had in the QB slot was quickly nullified by Matt Stover kicking for Indiana, and the Crushers were unable to put up anything better than single-digit scores. The Ironmen were able to overtake them with efforts like Steve Smith's 13 and Chris Cooley's 12, and Antonio Pierce scoring 1 better than Eli on Monday Night Football was the final nail in the coffin for the slumping Crushers.
Stevies Scapegoats (1-4) d. Youngstown Hitmen (2-3)
68-67
Holy close games, Batman! It's so close, that it's actually fairly difficult to place how the Scapegoats actually won, especially with Jamal Lewis not playing. Let's see, there was LJ and Tampa Bay (say, that rhymes) with 10s, Kevin Curtis with 13, and Thomas Howard with 12. In Youngstown, we had a combined running game worth 13, a combined receiving game worth 19, and Jason Campbell (worth 12). But while it may be difficult to see how the Scapegoats won, it's rather easy to see how the Hitmen lost. It was a lack of defense (three players combined for 5) that left the opening for the Scapegoats to squeak by. And a win's a win, no matter how close.
The XaulZans (4-1) d. The Stud Man Clan (2-3)
66-43
"The good news for the Stud Man Clan is... ...Ronnie Brown is playing the Browns (no relation)." He had the Clan's high score of 9. It's also the only good news for them.
"The bad news is Steve McNair may or may not play, and may or may not play well if he's playing." He didn't play. And right there go any hopes of the Stud Man Clan salvaging this week. The Zans played conservatively, opting to bench any players that may not play, or have a good chance of bombing, so they wound up with no good scores, but a bunch of decent scores. Seven players scored at least 7, and as we learned from the Lobos earlier, those little points do add up. Conglomeration FTW!
Team Jack (4-1) d. Dunedain (2-3)
80-44
Apparently, Team Jack doesn't know jack about what the Dúnedain are (I've been waiting to use that one all season), but alas, it was the Fall of Arnor all over again.
"With Tom Brady, Antonio Gates, and Maurice Jones-Drew on their side, Team Jack looks like a shoo-in." Ed should've just stopped on that point, because that was the game right there. Brady and Jones-Drew combined for 49. There's really not much more I can say. Dunedain's top score came from a Joey Galloway 10, but a negative in the QB spot and lack of any other noticeable scores made this game over before it started.
Code:
Rank Team W-L-T Pct. Pts. Streak F.Rank Change
1. Silver Lobos 5-1-0 .833 483 W-4 1 ±0
2. The XaulZans 5-1-0 .833 414 W-3 6 +1
3. Team Jack 5-1-0 .833 396 W-5 7 +1
4. Indiana Ironmen 4-2-0 .667 432 W-2 4 +2
5. What Am I Doing Here 4-2-0 .667 431 L-1 5 -3
6. FIRST Force 3-3-0 .500 450 L-2 2 -1
7. Rhode Island Drive 3-3-0 .500 443 W-1 3 +1
8. Dunedain 2-4-0 .333 391 L-1 8 -1
9. Youngstown Hitmen 2-4-0 .333 370 L-1 9 ±0
10. Nor Cal Crushers 2-4-0 .333 355 L-3 10 ±0
11. Stevies Scapegoats 2-4-0 .333 338 W-1 12 +2
12. The Stud Man Clan 2-4-0 .333 323 L-3 13 -1
13. Isotopes 2-4-0 .333 317 L-3 14 -1
14. Koko's X-Cats 1-5-0 .167 348 W-1 11 ±0
Koko won! Let's all give him a w00t! w00t! Can he make it into a winning streak, and can the Lobos keep up their streak of dominating wins?
Next week marks the halfway point of the regular season, and as such, I'll have a review of the first half up after my regular postgame, as well as the first-half awards. It'll be a big week next week, so make sure you tune in!