Holmes retires, Williams returns, and I have my postgame done on a Wednesday... talk about your not-so-average weeks.
Rhode Island Drive (6-4) d. The XaulZans (5-5)
55-74
If you were watching the Cowboys play, then you know Tony Romo was going to be getting some points for the XaulZans and Marion Barber for the Drive wasn't. That was the only advantage in this matchup the Zans had though. The rest of the Rhode Island offense picked up the slack, including a respectable 10 from their QB, Derek Anderson. McGahee and Hackett both added 13, and Minnesota put up 10 against the Raiders. The only players for the Drive that scored less than 5 were the aforementioned Barber and a defenseman who was injured in the first quarter of his game. Not too shabby.
The Stud Man Clan (4-6) d. Koko's X-Cats (2-8)
81-35
The X-Cats had Rivers, Travis Henry, and San Diego (not to mention the injured Marshawn Lynch on the bench). The Clan had Randy Moss. Um... I'm out of words. Moss's 31 already won the game for the Clan (well, okay, not quite, but if the Clan lost this one with a 31, I'd be making a lot more noise about this match). That's not to say the rest of the team stood around a twiddled their thumbs. Jay Cutler pitched in his 12 and Bironas had 10. Plus, shades of the Drive, the Clan only had two players score less than 4. Talk about your routings...
Dunedain (4-6) d. What Am I Doing Here (4-6)
85-76
What am I doing here? I'm planning on assimilating both participants of this game for the heavy playoff ramifications (and therefore, more math for me) this game had. This was the closest game of the week and both teams played magnificently. Between the two rosters, only one player failed to score 5 points. So we're forced to go to the big scores, and this is where it becomes obvious who won. Favre (16), Stover (12), Addai (10), & Fitzgerald (10) for Dunedain were clearly better than WAIDH's Tomlinson (13), Green Bay (11), & Campbell (10). It's sorta sad, since this is the best game WAIDH has played since their losing streak began five weeks ago. But now Dunedain is well above that eighth place cutoff. Resistance is futile, and whatnot.
Team Jack (8-2) d. Indiana Ironmen (5-5)
84-64
The second victim of the Pats/Bills game was the Ironmen. Their opponents were the guys with Brady, and his 28 was a key factor in Team Jack's victory. The Giants DEF helped out with 15, and Maurice Jones-Drew's 10 and defender Roy Williams's 9 were also big factors. The Ironmen's offense just wasn't up to par. A Phil Dawson 14 was their high score (humorously, 9 of those came from the zebras getting that FG at the buzzer correct), and their only backing were Chris Cooley's 10 and Calvin Johnson's 8. The Indiana defense was a better match, but even with (irony FTW) New England's 12, they still scored lower than Team Jack's.
Nor Cal Crushers (3-7) d. Stevies Scapegoats (5-5)
73-62
Can you say "surge"? Because that's what the Crushers are doing at the moment. Conglomeration seems to be the theme this week as, shades of the Drive, Clan, Dunedain, & WAIDH, only one of Nor Cal's players missed the 5-point mark. They also had a solid backbone of Kirk Morrison (12), Josh Brown (12), & Eli Manning's 10. Nate Burleson had 12 and Jamal Lewis gave 11 points to the Scapegoats' cause after both playing so balefully last week, but while everybody scored, they lacked both the higher low-end scores that the Crushers had and another big score to give them the edge.
Silver Lobos (8-2) d. Isotopes (5-5)
70-46
Adrian Peterson gets injured, and the Lobos plop Chester Taylor in his place. Brilliant! After that fluke of a loss last week, Taylor's 25 was just what the doctor ordered, especially considering Peyton Manning was held to just a single point. And still, the 'Topes and McNabb lost that QB battle by 4! It doesn't get much better for the Isotopes either; their only scores worth mentioning were a 12 from Oakland and twin 9s from Santonio Holmes and Shayne Graham. The Lobos brought more to the table, including 13s from both Andre Johnson & Ellis Hobbs, plus a 7 from Indianapolis. Alright, so the rest of their scores were all under 4, but really, how much do you need to beat 46?
Youngstown Hitmen (4-6) d. FIRST Force (7-3)
103-69
FIRST Force
really tried to win this game. McGee (12), Houshmandzadeh (11), & Jeff Reed (10) provided a solid backbone for a decent lower end of scoring. They even dominated on defense. So what went wrong? Well, the Force's two Monday Night Football players only put up 11 when they could've used another 40-ish. The game was basically insurmountable after Sunday thanks to the Youngstown offense. Said offense was led by Terrel Owens's four TDs and 34 fantasy points. But it didn't stop there. Going down the list of the non-RB offense: Joshua Cribbs put up 18, Kris Brown tallied 13 bananas- er, points, Kurt Warner had 12 in his much-needed win, and Greg Jennings humbly gave 8 points. For those of us keeping track, that was a combined 60 from the Hitmen's receiving corps. That's just ill. Fear the Hitmen.
Code:
Rank Team W-L-T Pct. Pts. Streak F.Rank Change
1.x Silver Lobos 9-2-0 .818 858 W-1 1 ±0
2.x Team Jack 9-2-0 .818 794 W-2 3 ±0
3. Rhode Island Drive 7-4-0 .636 822 W-1 2 +1
4. FIRST Force 7-4-0 .636 772 L-1 5 -1
5. Dunedain 5-6-0 .455 785 W-2 4 +4
6. Indiana Ironmen 5-6-0 .455 757 L-1 6 -1
7. Youngstown Hitmen 5-6-0 .455 751 W-3 7 +3
8. The XaulZans 5-6-0 .455 694 L-5 10 -2
9. Stevies Scapegoats 5-6-0 .455 652 L-1 11 -2
10. The Stud Man Clan 5-6-0 .455 632 W-1 12 +2
10. Isotopes 5-6-0 .455 632 L-2 12 -2
12. Nor Cal Crushers 4-7-0 .364 708 W-2 8 +1
13. What Am I Doing Here 4-7-0 .364 698 L-6 9 -2
14.z Koko's X-Cats 2-9-0 .182 611 L-4 14 ±0
x=Clinched Playoff Birth
z=Mathematically Eliminated
Koko! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
::ahem::
So yeah, we finally lost a team. Here's where everybody else stands in the
Playoff Picture:
- Lobos & Jack are still waiting for teams to join them in the "birthed" club.
- Drive & Force are in on one win or tie, or if the Ironmen win or tie once. They're also in if one of the Hitmen or Clan lose or tie once.
- The Ironmen will clinch upon winning out. They are the only team in the 5-6 bracket capable of this directly.
- The rest of the 5-6 bracket (Dunedain, Zans, Hitmen, Clan, Scapegoats, & Topes) can clinch upon winning out if the Ironmen win or tie once, or if the Hitmen or clan lose a single game.
- The Crushers & WAIDH are out if they lose twice. There's also half a zillion ways they can be eliminated if they lose once.
- Still left over from three weeks ago, the Topes will be directly eliminated if they lose out as well.
- Oh my god, they killed Koko! Those [really bad people]! Sadly, Koko and his X-Cats won't be joining in on the postseason festivities.
Still two weeks left. Here's the specifics:
- So what makes the Ironmen special? They have two games that directly impact them: Week XII against Dunedain, and Week XIII against the Zans. If they win both, they've knocked two 5-6 teams down a bracket. If the Ironmen win one and lose one, then the Ironmen and the team they beat (i.e., two 5-6 trams) drop down a bracket. Either way, that puts the chopping block at nine. The other important game is the Topes/Scapegoats in Week XIV, in which one more team drops a bracket, putting the chopping block at eighth no matter the result. Note that I haven't mentioned what happens if the Ironmen lose out because no playoff dreams rely or die on that happening.
- Speaking of the Topes/Scapegoats Week XIII, if that game ties, the rest of the 5-6 bracket just needs to win out (though bear in mind the the previous bullet point means it's impossible for more than four of them to do so). It'll also put both the Drive & Force into the playoffs, regardless of what they do.
- I may as well point out that ties are as bad as losses at this stage, because it knocks both teams involved down half a game. With the currently seven teams straddling the eight/nine border (forgetting fantasy points for now), that half-game loss can knock someone in fifth all the way down to twelfth. Though strangely, it's Week XI, and there's been no ties yet!
- Obviously, it's now officially impossible for the Drive & Force to both miss the playoffs due to their Week XIII game. But I may as well tell both teams to get their playoff tickets ready now, because even if the Ironmen lose out, the Hitmen, Clan, Zans, Dunedain, & Scapegoats all win out, and both the Drive & Force lose in Week XII, the loser of Drive/Force match will easily get in on fantasy points (the lowest of the two, Force, currently has a 140 fantasy-point lead on the lowest of the mentioned 5-6 teams, Clan), and the winner will get in on record. This also means that one of the Drive or Force will be seeded third. Finally, if this game ties, both teams are in, and they'll be deciding both the #3 & #4 seeds among themselves.
- Crushers & WAIDH no longer directly control their fate. WAIDH can help their cause immensely by winning out because their two remaining opponents are the Zans & Hitmen, and even the Crushers have the Clan on their schedule, but it's far from a guarantee.
- Mathematically, the top 4 are able to claim the #1 seed, but let's face it, #1 & #2 will be decided amongst the Silver Lobos & Team Jack. Right now, the edge has to go to the Lobos due to their 64 point fantasy lead, but that's certainly not insurmountable within two weeks, and that only comes into play if both teams finish with the same record. Should be interesting.
And with that, I bid you adieu... for the next 14 hours or so. I'll be back before gametime tomorrow to do my annual Thanksgiving week pregame analysis. Then, turkey. Yay, turkey!