I'm not sure what I should lead off with this week: groaning at the fact that I left a Minnesota 20 on my bench, wondering why anyone would be stupid enough to kick to Devin Hester, or proclaiming how awesome that Monday Nighter was, even if it was a fantasy football manager's nightmare...
Rhode Island Drive (7-4) d. Youngstown Hitmen (5-6)
69-84
"Rhode Island's already strong offense has matchups against the Texans, Jets, Rams, & Chargers, which will most likely equal a lot of points." Anderson, Barber, Hackett & McGahee combined for 34. The Hitmen countered with 15 from Jennings, 11 from Warner, & 9 from Owens. With defenses and kicking relatively even, it came down to the guy who, for some odd reason, my biased self never factored in to my pregame analysis: Devin Hester. Yes,
that Devin Hester. The Drive had him, and his 21 took this from a close game that could go either way to a very impressive playoff-clinching win for Rhode Island.
Team Jack (9-2) d. Koko's X-Cats (2-9)
75-59
Props to the X-Cats: they made this not a washout. Rivers & San Diego made mincemeat out of the Ravens for a combined 24, and even their trio of Clark, Welker, & Droughns all put up 8s. But their opponent was Team Jack, who had Gates's 16, Brady's 12, and what probably decided the game, a 16 from Jason Hanson in the K spot. As you know, the X-Cat's kicker, Gostkowski, didn't get a lot of chances to add points this week. And I suppose DeShaun Foster's -3 didn't help either...
The XaulZans (5-6) d. What Am I Doing Here (4-7)
74-54
What am I doing here? Yeah, I really didn't see a Frank Gore 22 coming either. But in a game where both teams desperately needed to stop their losing streaks, it was a very well-timed 22 for the XaulZans. Disregarding Gore, both teams were very even too. Defense was won by WAIDH by 2, Kaeding vs. Gould came out 14-13, Burress put up 10 for Romo's 9, and L.T. & Edgerrin James equaled Witten & Crayton. Which means Gore's 22 was the knockout blow to WAIDH's season.
Indiana Ironmen (5-6) d. Dunedain (5-6)
95-60
Incoming psychic point for me:
"Where this game will be won or lost is in the middle offense." And this prediction was made before Dunedain had to pull Jacobs off the starting lineup (because let's face it, had Jacobs played, the Giants would've relied on their running game after the terrible day Eli was having) and Dunn was benched in favor of Andre Hall for the Ironmen. Who's he? Well, he had 13.
"Indiana has Chad Johnson, Calvin Johnson, & Chris Cooley as their three receivers, and are not a force to be underestimated." The grammatically-incorrect ocho-cinco scored three times, and the other Johnson & Cooley both had 10 fantasy points. The best Dunedain could put up on offense was Addai's 8 (and for the record, Addai + Jacobs > Dunn this week
). Where they did excel was on defense, winning by 12, but it was a moot point by then. Go Ironmen!
The Stud Man Clan (5-6) d. Nor Cal Crushers (4-7)
66-61
"The best chance for the Clan is Jay Cutler getting through the Bears..." To be fair, I didn't actually think it would happen. But in what was a very good Broncos/Bears game, Cutler came out with 14. Colston also had 10 for the Clan.
"...and if their Patriot-biased defense actually does something." Actually, they held on, and that was the important part. Nor Cal only won defense by 4, and while Westbrook & Jackson both had 10, Eli Manning & Roy Willaims were both duds. Eli in particular picked a bad time to have an abysmal game, and the Crushers get knocked out of the playoffs as a result.
Silver Lobos (9-2) d. Stevies Scapegoats (5-6)
105-48
"The Lobos have Peyton Manning & Reggie Wayne passing and catching all over the Falcons (lack of) defense..." A combined 26 right there.
"...and Chester Taylor has been an exemplary replacement for Adrian Peterson." He added 9 himself. One psychic point for Eddie! Plus 13 points from both Ryan Grant and Mason Crosby added to the Lobos' score. Stevies Scapegoats had Jamal Lewis against the Texans and 13 points, as well as a Nick Folk 10.
"And dare I say that the Scapegoats may have a slight edge on defense?" Um, no. The Lobos defensive unit absolutely squashed the Scapegoats'. Patrick Willis led said unit with 18, and return man Ellis Hobbs had 11. That's minus one psychic point for Eddie...
FIRST Force (7-4) d. Isotopes (5-6)
63-51
"The 'Topes really need both McNabb and Bush to play, or they'll be done quickly." McNabb didn't play, and Bush didn't play well. It wasn't all bad; the tag-team duo of Kellen Winslow & Braylon Edwards combined for 21, and Earnest Graham put up 9 of his own. But:
"If all else fails, Bulluck, McGee, & Edwards are a tight defensive, um, force for the Force." Forgetting my serious lack of judgment in writing that pun, Bulluck, McGee, & Edwards combined for 30. Brandon Marshall gave the Force 11 more and Carson Palmer had his way with the Texans for 16. It was indeed the
"battle over who's going to be injured less", and FIRST Force comes out of it relatively unscathed and with a playoff birth.
Code:
Rank Team W-L-T Pct. Pts. Streak F.Rank Change
1.x Silver Lobos 10-2-0 .833 963 W-2 1 ±0
2.x Team Jack 10-2-0 .833 869 W-3 3 ±0
3.x Rhode Island Drive 8-4-0 .667 907 W-2 2 ±0
4.x FIRST Force 8-4-0 .667 834 W-1 6 ±0
5. Indiana Ironmen 6-6-0 .500 852 W-1 4 +1
6. The XaulZans 6-6-0 .500 774 W-1 8 +2
7. The Stud Man Clan 6-6-0 .500 698 W-2 12 +3
8. Dunedain 5-7-0 .417 845 L-1 5 -3
9. Youngstown Hitmen 5-7-0 .417 820 L-1 7 -2
10. Stevies Scapegoats 5-7-0 .417 700 L-2 11 -1
11. Isotopes 5-7-0 .417 683 L-3 13 -1
12.z Nor Cal Crushers 4-8-0 .333 769 L-1 9 ±0
13.z What Am I Doing Here 4-8-0 .333 752 L-7 10 ±0
14.z Koko's X-Cats 2-10-0 .167 668 L-5 14 ±0
x=Clinched Playoff Birth
z=Mathematically Eliminated
7 teams, 4 spots left.
Playoff Picture:
- Lobos, Jack, Drive, & Force can sit back and do nothing this week waiting for the other half of the playoff spots to be taken.
- Ironmen, Zans, & Clan are win (or tie) and in. They're also in if Dunedain & Hitmen both lose or tie.
- Dunedain, Hitmen, Scapegoats, & Topes are out if they lose. They can tie, but they'd also need the other three teams in that bracket to tie or lose (so, um, don't tie).
- Crushers & WAIDH join the X-Cats as being eliminated. More on this below.
Lets go to the schedule:
- The Topes/Scapegoats game is what eliminates the Crushers & WAIDH, because even if that game ties, that's still the #8 spot at 5.5 wins. If said Topes/Scapegoats game ties, the Topes will be eliminated (they'd still have fewer fantasy points than the Scapegoats), and the Scapegoats would need Dunedain & Hitmen to lose. In fact, even the winner of this game would need Dunedain & Hitmen to lose, as there's a 120+ point difference right now.
- Ironmen face the Zans in Week XIII, and the winner is in. But I think the loser will be fine, as there are going to be three more teams left out, and even the Zans have at least 75 points currently on the Clan, Scapegoats, & Topes. The only problem comes if all three of the Clan, Dunedain, & Hitmen win, in which case the Zans would be in trouble (having to gain 45 points on the Hitmen), and the Ironmen would have to keep their fantasy score higher than Dunedain & Hitmen.
- The Clan are in a lot of trouble if they lose. If that happens, and both Dunedain & Hitmen win, as the Clan are 170+ points below them in fantasy points, the Clan would be out. Even the Scapegoats and Topes are close enough to easily knock the Clan out of eighth. So it's in the Clan's best interest to win.
- Chances are, the last couple spots will hinge on what Dunedain & Hitmen do. These two teams are 25 fantasy points apart from each other, so even upon winning, they'll have to fend off each other plus the loser of the Ironmen/Zans game. Obviously though, they're practically guaranteed a playoff spot if one of them wins and the other loses, as there's no way the winner of the Topes/Scapegoats game is going to overtake them in fantasy points.
- The Drive/Force game will decide the #3 & #4 seeds. If the Drive wins or the game ties, they'd get the #3 spot, else, it goes to the Force. Either way, they've still got a decent playoff position out of the deal.
- The #1 & #2 seeds are the Lobos' & Jack's to fight over. If both teams win, tie, or lose, the #1 seed goes to the Lobos (barring a 200-pointer from Team Jack). Prettymuch the only way for Team Jack to take #1 away from the Lobos is for them to win and the Lobos to lose or tie. Should be interesting.
The mathematical nightmare comes to an end finally! Next week, we'll have our 8 playoff teams. I'll be back before that darned NFL Network game next Thursday with the Week XIII postgame, plus a brief playoff analysis. See you then.