[Dmentor]

It is sometimes unsettling to discover that the only thing in life that we can truly control is ourselves. We often want others around us to change but we can’t force them to do so. We can however be a catalyst for change. We can be forceful or eloquent in stating our desires for change but ultimately change itself is personal. I will note that societies use education, laws, coercion and punishment as effective implements to encourage change. FIRST uses inspiration (among many other things).

Understanding this changes nothing (in that your surrounding environment isn’t affected) and yet it changes everything (in that your outlook can be completely different). This observation applies to work, marriage, handling crisis… anywhere really. When confronted with conflict, I have tried to condition myself to ask “How do I want to respond?” Many times though, just like Pavlov’s dogs, I just “react” and later sort out the consequences. Importantly though reflecting on these reactions, consequences and my desired behavior often leads me to want to change myself.

So from philosophical to constructive… I think JVN has it nailed in terms of Craig’s possible personal responses. However, we ALL have the opportunity to change as well. Craig’s note is feedback that can be used constructively as a catalyst for us to change ourselves or… we could shrug and change nothing.