Excellent thread. Many of these points have been brought up previously, but it is always good - and seemingly necessary - to review them again each year just before the season starts. In that spirit, I would like to offer up another of Grandma Lavery's little rules that she used to pound into our heads:
Golden Rule Eleven: There are two ways to say anything - choose yours carefully. How you choose to deliver a message is just as important as the message itself. Correcting someone's mistake by saying "although it is physically possible to do it like that, could the cantilevered load over-stress the bearing? Have you considered doing it like this..." carries a completely different message than "only an ignorant git would do it that way. All us smart people do it like this..." The former recognizes the efforts of the individual, while identifying a potentially better solution. The latter just identifies you as a boor to be avoided.
Golden Rule Twelve: You will be known by what you write here. Remember that your words here will live on to represent you much longer than you expect. There are those that have learned the hard way that snide answers they gave in a thread five years ago are well-remembered, and create reputations that are hard to overcome. To repeat the thoughts of an earlier post:
Quote:
What you do, and what you write, is completely within your control. The "gee-it-seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time" bile-filled rant about the dumb restrictive decision your parents just made is going to have a life of its own after you post it on Facebook. Six years from now, long after you have forgotten about it, that really cool prospective employer that you really want to work for is going to do a search on Archive.org and read through it. They will realize how you trash talk about your family "in private" and wonder if you will do the same about their company. The "this-is-why-I-think-my-chemistry-teacher-is-the-most-moronic-person-on-the-planet" five-page diatribe that you just posted one day will be reviewed by your co-worker down the hall that is supposed to be mentoring you in your new job. Long after you have forgotten writing that blog entry about your first weekend binge as a college student, an as-yet-unmet significant other is going to read it and wonder why they should ever waste their time with someone that behaves so boorishly. And let's not even consider the reaction from your grandmother (remember? that person that we are all supposed to be making proud?) as she reads through your latest harangue on the universal unfairness of the world and how the rest of us should all just go and stick our heads in dark places.
So please, before you make that vituperative post disparaging the "horrible, wrong-headed, my dog could have done better" post about the refs decision during your last match - think. Think about those words that you are about to post publicly. Think about the message that they convey. But most importantly, think about what those words say about you - as an author, a possible employee, a future compatriot, a potential friend, and a current family member. Because those words WILL get out. And they will have your name on them.
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-dave