Jane - Hat's off to you for starting this thread. It addresses a situation that many of us mentors have to deal with.
I think often it is not what you say but when you say it that makes the difference. Knowing your team and their personalities is also important. After a resounding defeat, it may be best to walk off the field and say nothing. That said, I think it is important to discuss the situation and determine how to avoid it in the future. While it might be better to delay that discussion somewhat you don't want to wait too long. Again, the real issue is timing.
My personal belief is that the true winners are those who use the challenges of the game to improve themselves socially and professionaly. FIRST is built around this concept but we still manage to get bogged down with wins and losses. Note that I said "we"
