[Travis Hoffman]

What NASA doesn't want you to know:

On July 20, 1969, astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon, collecting over 40 pounds of moon rock samples. Earlier in the mission, an unidentified flying object accosted them as they neared the lunar surface. They observed a flashing light pattern but did not truly comprehend what they were looking at. In fact, the UFO was trying to communicate with the intrepid spacemen. Loosely translated, the message read "I am a Mooninite. You will land in the area in which we have encased our most unstable, incorrigible moonspawn in solid rock for the betterment and survival of our race. Please, before you leave, take our crazy moon children with you!"

By chance, Neil and Buzz collected seven Mooninites that day. All but one perished on the return trip home. The one that survived soon broke free from his rocky prison during a NASA geological experiment. The scientists were amazed by what they saw - the first instance of alien life visiting Earth. The child, while exhibiting all the tendencies of a stark raving madman, demonstrated an amazing capacity for learning, absorbing knowledge to the point in which his genius surpassed that of all humans on the planet.

Rather than alert the public to his existence, NASA officials took the child in, disguising him as a nerd on perpetual vacation, so they could manipulate his genius to further their ambitious goal of conquering the universe, one planet at a time.

Behold Dave Lavery - Moon Child.