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Unread 12-02-2010, 15:52
Karibou Karibou is offline
Steel is love. Steel is life.
AKA: Kara Bakowski
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Re: Web Competitors 2010

Quote:
Originally Posted by F.R.E.D. Girl View Post
here is team 2883's website

i built it by myself with notepad++

Team 2883 website
What might help a little with readability is some compound sentences See how every sentence in the first paragraph starts with "FIRST_____"? It feels somewhat choppy when I'm reading it in my head.

Suggestion:
"Team 2883 is based in Warroad, Minnesota. FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology") was founded by Dean Kamen to expose young people to science, technology, and engineering. FIRST is an amazing program and is an eye-opening experience for everyone."

Fewer periods, more commas (in the right places), and easier to read.
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Kara Bakowski
Michigan Technological University///Materials Science and Engineering '15///Go Huskies! #tenacity
kabakowski(at)gmail(dot)com
FRC 341 (2016-present): Mechanical/build mentor
Volunteer (2010-present): MAR Seneca '17, FTC Hat Tricks Qualifier '16, Brunswick Eruption '16, MAR Montgomery '16, MAR Westtown '16 Portcullis Victim, MAR Springside-Chestnut Hill '16, Ramp Riot '15 '16, FiM Escanaba District '14 '15, MidKnight Mayhem '13 '15 '16, FiM Detroit District '13, IRI '10 '12, FiM Waterford District '11 '12, MARC '12, CMP Galileo '11
FRC 1189 (2008-2011): Team Captain, Pit Crew, Website group leader, Team Education group leader, Proud Alum. We've got spirit, yes we do...


WMWBS '10 '11