David, I will admit to not having read your posts. I will after this Championship rush is over. From one who likes to "discuss" or "debate" topics let me say that it is good to look from different perspectives. Some say thinking outside of the box. It is always good to bring different ideas and invoke the thinking process. This is a good thing to have.
HOWEVER. This has caused me a lot of grief over the years. I have had some problems with friends, family, fellow workers and bosses not to mention team mates. One of my old bosses (who has since passed away) took me aside and had a big heart to heart talk. He reassured me that I have/had a lot of valid points to make. My problem was my presentation. He explained some small but important rules to follow when talking with others and trying to get my ideas through. You see, I had caused people to shut me out because of the way I am/was.
Rule 1: Listen to others point of views. Do not interrupt or ask questions until they have finished.
Rule 2: State your points clearly and concisely and give reasoning behind your ideas.
Rule 3: Do not say "that is a bad idea" or "are you stupid?". If you feel that you have a better idea use phrases like "have you considered?" or ""good thoughts, do you feel by adding/changing XXXX that it might make it better?"
Rule 4: When you are finished, sit back and let others have their say and or discussion. Defending all that you have said reverts people back to ignoring your points.
Have I mastered this you ask? Just ask my team or those on CD. They will tell you NO. Have I improved over the last 10 years, you bet but I still have a long way to go.
I am old and they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I disagree. It may take a lot more swats to the nose but we can learn. Take it from someone who knows. Try changing when you are young and things will be a lot easier down the road. Oh, BTW have fun while doing it!
