[JaneYoung]

David -
Reread this post that you have made and think about it. You make the most interesting observations and then you contradict them. Stay with me now, don't shut down - watch -

A quote from your post:
"After rereading my post a day after I wrote it, I did notice it sounded awfully rude, but that's a problem on my part." You follow that up in the very next sentence saying: "...but I am not changing my stance, but that is a whole another subject."

You talk a lot about programming in CD. And you talk about weight lifting and being a football player. What all of that shows is that you have a variety of interests. There are people in this fora who can relate to your interests, not ridicule them, ignore them, or try to make you defensive about them. But your often careless remarks are off putting.

You have written about the disappointment of your mentor. It probably feels awful. But again, you went against your mentor's request or suggestion and posted. And here's the contradiction: "Please keep this personal, don't go emailing my mentor again, I really don't think I can build up that relationship again, no matter how fabulous job I do in programming or anything." David, this is a public forum. Nothing said here is private or can be kept private. When you are thinking about what has transpired over the last couple of days, think about that. Really give it some thought, because it is key to helping you understand and see a bigger picture.

Here's the bigger picture: community. Let's break that down a little bit. You enjoy programming and you want to learn about programming and you are curious about programming. By being on a robotics team, that makes you a member of a team. Team. Do you see any "I" there? Teams often develop into a community working towards common goals, building the team that builds the robot. Do you see any "I" there? Teams work together in regions, often building a community that builds the regions that help the teams build the robots. Do you see any "I" there? You are becoming a part of the Chief Delphi community. It is a very large community with a membership that spans the globe that works toward the common goals of helping build a stronger FIRST community. Do you see any "I" there? By sticking with this and making a decision to look at what is working for you and what is not working for you, you have the opportunity to grow and to develop into a team member of the team that you value, and to earn the respect of your mentor and teammates. You also have the opportunity to earn the respect of the members of the Chief Delphi community. There are a lot of people in your corner. You pushed it yesterday, making sure you were throwing the "I" into the discussion and you pushed it too far. Learn from it. Spend some time thinking about how you can impact your team, your mentor, your self-esteem, and the CD community and whether you want it to be in a positive useful manner or in a self-centered egotistical manner that ticks people off. You can listen as well as you hear. You can listen to the wisdom of others. You can also share as part of the community, leaving the ego at the door as you enter CD. Don't be so focused on being an individual. Lighten up and spend time learning to be a better team player. That, believe it or not, is how you become a stronger leader and role model.

Jane