[gblake]

Originally Posted by JaneYoung

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Over the past few years, I've heard the philosophy about not giving power to a word or a phrase. I don't buy it. If the suggestion is to listen to the phrase and then order the person who said it to go do something, then what messages are being encouraged/sent and - are they mixed messages? Why make the situation worse or add drama?

The suggestion is to stand the comment on its head and turn it into a light-hearted joke on whoever said it; instead of an attack on whoever heard it.

My point is that the situation is not required to be bad in the first place, so an assumption that there is drama to be added, or something bad to be made worse, seems unfounded. There are choices involved. The situation is only bad or dramatic if the person who hears the comment chooses to consider it important, and then chooses to react to it as an attack instead of as casual banter. That listener is in charge of their own reactions, not the speaker.

I certainly don't insist that anyone change their reactions, but I do encourage it.

Originally Posted by Cynette

"we can rob them of any power by embracing them"

I seem to hear this concept frequently by generations younger than me.

There you go again - Making generalizations and stereotyping me. Based on your avatar photo, I suspect that we are about the same age. Also, it appears that you, like I, learned to type back when putting two spaces at the ends of sentences was de rigueur.

Originally Posted by Cynette

I don't think it works. My daughter has taken several courses centered around various stereotypes in society and we have had this discussion several times. I still don't accept the idea that it is ok for members of the African-American community to use the "N" word on one another saying it robs that word of power by embracing it. I still don't accept the idea that it is ok for the "F" word to be used as a speech-filler saying it robs that word of power by embracing it. I still don't accept the idea that it is ok to tell ethnic jokes because humor robs those stereotypes of power by embracing them.

Each circumstance you describe is different from my suggestion in important ways.

• N word has not been converted into a penalty-free zone for everyone by those who stand to be the most offended by it. In my experience it is now used by both sides to divide us into groups, not to erase the boundaries between them.
• F word use is not on directly on topic. It doesn't involve a stereotype.
• Ethnic jokes - In my experience, again, because of how people choose to react to them, telling ethnic jokes still divides us. (However, just in case anyone is wondering, I enjoy a good joke about the Scottish).

Originally Posted by Cynette

And as tough of a skin as we develop and as much of a "you can't hurt me" attitude as we put on, those words confirming those stereotypes still tear us down.

It only directly hurts you if you let it. If you are letting it hurt you, then you have tried to put on a tough skin; but haven't actually succeed. Again, I'm not suggesting using a tough skin to protect yourself from something hurtful; I'm suggesting you can simply choose to ignore something unimportant - No tough skin required.

Originally Posted by Cynette

I don't think we should convert stereotypes into badges of honor, because most stereotypes are not honorable, but rather take the time to ask where the impression came from and try to provide examples of where the stereotype is not accurate.

Perhaps you are taking too a narrow view of stereotypes; one that imbues the word with a popular, but unnecessary and overly-negative connotation. But that's an opinion of mine, not a fact.

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I'm going to wrap up with this thought. Is "Nerd" a stereotyping, prejudicial word that no one in their right mind would want to embrace? Not now perhaps; but I think it once was.

Maybe now FIRST folks in particular are starting to wear it as a badge of honor. But... ask someone old enough to have been in high school 20-40 years ago to remember those days without using their rose-colored glasses. Think about the culture into which the original Revenge of the Nerds movie was released.

So, I still hold the opinion that the FRC Engineerds and similarly named teams have latched onto an attitude that will pay substantial dividends (but it's probably not an opinion I would die in the ditch for).

Blake
PS: The best revenge is living well.