FAHA: Dealing with a problematic team member

[Beth Sweet]

During the preseason, we have all sorts of new personalities and everyone is trying to get to a point where they can work together. This FIRST-A-Holic is having some issues with a difficult personality.

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I am having a problem with a team member of mine. It seems that they do not recognize what they are doing. They constantly are going against me when I come up with an idea or when I try to say something; it doesn't matter, they always have the right words it seems to catch me off guard. It's to the point that I can't prove that my point (which in fact is the correct one, by facts that is).

The part that gets me even more, is that people believe this person and they have created this reputation throughout my team as "the person who knows what is going on". They also keep thinking for the team, even though it is just their opinion for what they're saying. The worst part is that most of the time, what the team wants is different from what they think.

It got as bad as they started a rumor that another member on my team was going to get kicked off because the problematic team member said the other person was doing bad things at a competition. When I asked the team leaders, this never happened, yet the entire team believed that the accused did in fact do it.

Please, I need help graciously taking down this ego which is splitting the team into two parts causing trouble with in the team.

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FIRST-a-holic Anonymous mailbox is a place to share your concern and frustration about your FIRST experience anonymously. It is the perfect place if you just want someone to listen, or ask for advice when you don’t know what to do. Submit your letters today at the FIRST-a-holic anonymous mailbox forum. If you wish to respond to this thread anonymously, please PM Beth or Bharat with your response and thread title.

[MGoelz]

Well, have you tried talking to this person? You said it seemed he/she doesn't recognize that he/she is doing this. Maybe they aren't intentionally picking on you? Do they do this to other people?

One of the issues may be that you are one of the only ones speaking up, and this person feels they have to bring up the opposing viewpoint every time. You also said that the team doesn't want what this person thinks all of the time. If that is the case, other members of your team need to speak up and make it clear what the majority of the team thinks. If it is really out of hand, and you speaking to him/her doesn't seem to have an impact, maybe see if a teacher or mentor will talk to this person.

Remember, it isn't bad to bring up the opposite idea; it is only wrong when they are intentionally bashing your opinions and ideas. Perhaps everyone could use a reminder in the field of rumors as well. Spreading rumors isn't going to build up a team, it is going to break it down. Maybe gently saying this to that person will help. I don't think any person would want to destroy a team's dynamics.

If all else fails, stay strong and keep voicing your opinion. Back it up with facts, give details, and be confident. Remind this person you are a team; there is no need to verbally attack somebody else's opinions, especially since no opinion is technically wrong. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and everyone is entitled to rights of voicing those opinions...nobody should be hindering that.

Perhaps even trying to have a meeting where everyone writes down their ideas/opinions, rather than voicing them, and then have a mentor or other figure read them. Don't allow anyone to speak. Maybe this way, this person will see that there are lots of opinions and if he/she wouldn't attack them, more people would speak up and broader range of ideas would be presented, which would mean more options, ultimately benefiting the team. It would probably help everyone understand each other better and bring your team closer together.

[Kims Robot]

I had my leadership students read "How to Win Friends & Influence People" last year... I know books aren't always the solution, but this book has many good insights into how to get people to see a different point of view. These are some of the main points on how to win people to your way of thinking:
**The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid an argument all together.
**Show Respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re Wrong.”
**If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
**Begin in a friendly way.
**Get the other person to say “Yes, Yes.”
**Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
**Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers.
**Try to honestly see things from the other person’s point of view
**Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires

There is always the option of talking to your team leaders about it too. I know as a team leader I would say that 75% of what I deal with is personalities or team dynamics, 25% is actually engineering. I wish it were opposite, but no one will learn well or inspire others in an environment they are uncomfortable in, and I want the team to trust each other and me. If your team leaders are good listeners they will be able to figure out how to do something about it without implicating you or anyone in particular. We have many times pulled students aside, and without saying who had the problem with them, worked with them to improve their behavior towards others.

And this is also sometimes difficult, but often I try and understand first WHY the person is acting that way. Sometimes its out of character and its something going wrong with classes, home or a girlfriend... sometimes its built into the character because parents have pushed so hard the student feels like they have to be that way. Sometimes its to impress others or be the center of attention. But often times once you understand WHY a person is acting a certain way you can be a lot more empathetic, and you can figure out a better way to convince them to change their behavior, or at least work with you.

People issues unfortunately are a big part of life, and even a big part of real life & jobs. I hope some of this helps, and I hope it works out for you

[JaneYoung]

Leadership is important in running a FIRST team. How well this is done is reflected in all areas of the team. The build can be affected, the robot can be affected, the team effort can be affected. Organization and management can be affected.

Poor leadership will negatively impact and can split the team.
- gossip/rumor spreading
- poor planning
- indecisiveness
- lack of organization

These are the some types of poor leadership that will hurt the team.

Ways to offset some of this is to establish a good business plan and work on team organization. A handbook providing guidelines, expectations, and team rules is helpful in building the strength of the team from the inside out. If you have a handbook, follow it. If it requires updating, update it.

Team meetings help keep everyone on track and keep lines of communication open. What you can do now before Kick Off is request some time for the team to work on team building aspects. Create and implement a leadership workshop. Define what the leadership roles are with the students and with the adult mentors. By defining those areas and providing some training in those areas it helps the entire team understand leadership and then they are able to help develop it in a positive way.

Oftentimes, one person can inflict damage on a team because these aspects of the team are not fully developed or have not been addressed. And, it is always wise to look at yourself and see what you are contributing to the situation. You want to think about whether it is beneficial or if it has a negative impact and then work with it.