CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #261

[Billfred]

It's a new year!

Normally, the scores after the last round would be posted here. But, since it's the first contest of a new year, all the scores are wiped clean. Instead, I substitute the rules:

Originally Posted by The Rules (enacted Caption Contest #1)

The rules:
-I am never ever gonna be eligible, unless I change the rule just before handing over control of the game to someone else.
-If it's your image I pick, you're not eligible.
-If you suggest an image and I pick it, you're not eligible.
-Entries will be scored by me on originality, or in the absence of that, dry humor.
-First place gets ten points, second gets five, honorable mentions will be awarded at my whims.

Traditionally, roughly half of the entries receive a two-point honorable mention, and one particularly good zinger received the burn award, good for three points. The remainder receive a single point.

There have been some updates to the rules over the years:

Originally Posted by The Gary Dillard Rule (enacted Caption Contest #12)

Due to the fact that the state of Florida seems to get walloped with a hurricane every other week, the deadline for all caption contests shall be extended to 9 PM on Friday. Furthermore, any contestant may request in the event of an emergency or natural disaster for the next caption contest to be posted up to 47 hours before Billfred originally planned on it.

Originally Posted by The Heidi Foster Rule (enacted Caption Contest #20)

Preventing anyone from entering the caption contest by means of any feat of engineering is prohibited. This rule shall not apply if both the victim and Billfred are laughing after the act has been committed.

Originally Posted by The Billfred Is Working Way Too Much Rule (enacted Caption Contest #24)

If, for whatever reason, Billfred is working on a job on a day he has to post or judge a caption contest, he reserves the right to fudge the posting or judging by one day in either direction.

("Working" gets a rather liberal interpretation, mind you.)

Originally Posted by The OTHER Heidi Foster Rule (enacted Caption Contest #29)

No person may kidnap, threaten, or otherwise cause harm or mental distress to Billfred in order to influence the outcome of a caption contest.

Originally Posted by The -infinity Rule (enacted Caption Contest #42)

At certain times, should Billfred be pwned by a contestant, he may, at his sole discretion, assign a score of -infinity to that contestant. Points still accumulate as normal, but the -infinity score will remain posted until Billfred either lets off or forgets to add the -infinity score again.

Originally Posted by The Koko Ed Rule (enacted Caption Contest #46)

Anyone except Billfred can enter the caption contest, even if it's their picture.

Originally Posted by The OTHER Billfred Is Working Way Too Much Rule (enacted Caption Contest #50, though never invoked)

If, in Billfred's judgement, he will be unable to administer the caption contest for a week, he may select one contestant to temporarily run the contest, including picture selection and judging. Since that contestant can't enter their own contest, they will receive their average score multiplied by the number of weeks they run the contest, rounded off.

Since then, the only thing that's changed is the deadline: Saturday at midnight Eastern, though entries posted afterward will count if they're posted before I open the thread to score it.

With all that said, here's this week's picture:

http://www.chiefdelphi.com/media/photos/31379

Go!

[ATannahill]

Orion:Wow, Deanim would actually improve Billfred's look. Aldo, the Hawaiian shirts and a pony tail.

[Taylor]

Mr. Kamen: Okay, we'll race in 3, 2, hey, look, there's Will Smith! <zoom!>

[Karibou]

Sportscaster/MC 1: "Wait a minute, I thought you were only allowed to have ONE player on each base??"
Sportscaster/MC 2: *Chuck Norris joke style* "Dean Kamen can have as many players on base as he wants to. Dean Kamen is also allowed to steal home plate."

The outcome of the game? 16 innings of hardcore robot baseball.

[Mr. Pockets]

Safety Official: And what, Mr. Kamen, do you think you're doing out there without safety glasses.
Dean: Look I know robots can be very dangerous, but this one has seasoned handlers at the controls. I'm perfectly saf-
(robot jerks violently towards Dean making him jump back.)
Safety Official: Perfectly safe eh? (smugly hands Dean a pair of safety glasses)
(Dean to the cackling bot operators): You're getting double homework for this!

[npoe]Wow that was short off season (wonder what would happen if the FRC off season was that short ^_-).[npoe]

[dodar]

Orion( in the creepy voice from the AI plane in the movie Stealth): OK Dean, now it is time to see what you are made of

[bobwrit]

Orion: What is this? I'm sure this violated some rule somewhere...

[Akash Rastogi]

NOW PRESENTING HEELYS, FOR ADULTS!

ALMOST AS ENTERTAINING AS wackywavinginflatablearmflailingtubeman!!!!

YOU'LL LAUGH, YOU'LL CRY, YOU'LL RACE TINY PLUNGERHEADED ROBOTS!!!

IN STORES NOWWWWWW!!!!!

[Steve W]

Dean : I said keep him away from my baby. She's much to young to go out with the likes of Orion!

[Chris is me]

Dean: "First one to the finish line gets the Founder's Award!"

[KarenH]

How to predict race outcome: Loser will be the one whose hands are planted on his jeans.

[rsisk]

1st annual "Take the plunge race". Team Orion came prepared with their plunger, team Kamen misread the rules and came prepared only with a pocket protector and a used set of denims.

[EricH]

MC: Red alliance ready? Blue alliance ready?
Dean: Wait, where are my partners?
Game announcer: Dean, this event is for alliances of one.
Dean: Oh, OK. I'm ready, then.
Team 102 driver: Are you SURE you don't want to use your Segway?
Dean: Sometimes, science and technology can't help you against science and technology.
MC: OK, then 3... 2... 1... GO!
Dean: Hey, attacking your opponent isn't graciously professional! OUCH!
Team 102 driver: Oops.
MC: Let's try this again. 3... 2... 1 ... GO!

Dean was later heard to say: I should have used the Segway when I had the chance. Durn science and technology!

[GaryVoshol]

Girl behind glass with wristband: "Waiting for Dean to begin running is almost as bad as waiting for him to finish speaking."

[Chief Pride]

Old Lady: Okay, I guess denim does make your bottom look good!