Does anyone have any good Robotics jokes?

[demosthenes2k8]

I got ln(cabin)...

[Norman J]

Originally Posted by EricH

You're close, but missing something. I said an indefinite integral.

A houseboat, forgot to add the c (sea)!

[Hugh Meyer]

The only thing we smoke is Jaguars.

[jordie228]

How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Woah, no. That's a hardware problem.

Some people say that the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, but engineers know that the glass is actually two times larger than it needs to be.

[MishraArtificer]

Originally Posted by EricH

Translation:

sqrt(-1) = i (imaginary numbers always have this somewhere)
2^3 = 8
capital sigma = Σ (usually means "sum")
pi should be self-explanatory.

(i)(8)(Σ)(pi)

Originally Posted by Alan Anderson

The square root of -1 is i.
Two raised to the power of three is eight.
The Greek letter Σ (sigma) represents a sum.
And, of course, the name of the Greek letter π (pi) sounds like the English word pie.

Thanks...I haven't had Algebra classes in a few years, and didn't do particularly well in them to begin with. I think with my hands.

[trilogy2826]

Source: Jack Ganssle's "The Embedded Muse 207"

New SI units:

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision

[Ether]

My favorite:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SzzhiaESXm...eal_design.png

[Steve_Alaniz]

Dated but oh well....


http://www.chiefdelphi.com/forums/sh...ht=sally+forth


Steve

[wevets]

To add to the list of units above:

1 miliHelen = enough beauty to launch 1 ship

And of course, my favorite units of velocity: furlongs per fortnight.

[pfreivald]

What do you call free time during the build season?
I don't know, either.

[WizenedEE]

I think the general answer to the thread title is "no"

[J93Wagner]

Thought about making a new thread instead of resurrecting this one. But it's probably better here.

But anyway, courtesy of Reddit's front page...

FWD: Re: fwd:

Yes I got this in an e-mail.

A toothpaste factory had a problem: they sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside. This was due to the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming out of it is perfect 100% of the time. Small variations in the environment (which can’t be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so that customers all the way down the supermarket don’t get pissed off and buy someone else’s product instead.

Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the company together and they decided to start a new project, in which they would hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem, as their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra effort.

The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, third-parties selected, and six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution — on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time. They solved the problem by using some high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box weighing less than it should. The line would stop, and someone had to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing another button when done.

A while later, the CEO decides to have a look at the ROI of the project: amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. Very few customer complaints, and they were gaining market share. “That’s some money well spent!” – he says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report.

It turns out, the number of defects picked up by the scales was 0 after three weeks of production use. It should’ve been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it, and after some investigation, the engineers come back saying the report was actually correct. The scales really weren'’t picking up any defects, because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good.

Puzzled, the CEO travels down to the factory, and walks up to the part of the line where the precision scales were installed. A few feet before it, there was a $20 desk fan, blowing the empty boxes out of the belt and into a bin. “Oh, that — one of the guys put it there ’cause he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang”, says one of the workers.

[Jon Stratis]

Originally Posted by jordie228

[b]
Some people say that the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, but engineers know that the glass is actually two times larger than it needs to be.

This one reminded me of...
http://xkcd.com/670/

[plnyyanks]

time to breathe life into this thread again....

this:

Originally Posted by trilogy2826

Source: Jack Ganssle's "The Embedded Muse 207"

New SI units:

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision

reminds me of this:

(of course, courtesy of Randall Munroe)

[quinxorin]

My favorite jokes at robotics competitions have to be the ones in the pits where the announcer says something funny, such as:
-WARNING: dihydrogen monoxide gas has been spotted in the pits. Please avoid the dihydrogen monoxide.

But here was a good one my team heard once.

A little context: our biggest cheer, for no good reason is:
Give me an A!
-A!
Give me an A!
-A!
Give me an A!
-A!
What's that spell?
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

So at one competition this past year, another team (67 or Enginerds I think) did a cheer something like:
Hey Lightning!
-Hey What?
Hey Lightning!
-Hey What?
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!