Permanent Static Charge...

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There is shampoo out there that is suppose to take care of static, but most of it's for wigs. You can do a google search on static shampoo. And though it's cold out, avoid scarves and hats in wintertime, because they make the static worse, and that usually will cause your hair to tangle as well and then people laugh at you for having hair that is writhing all over the place (not unlike Medusa's snakes) and you're forced to use that extra static you have to zap them, and then they spend all day trying to get you back, it nasty little cycle.

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Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I think I've forgotten this before. -- Steven Wright