What constitutes "Not having a life"

[Nomadic Mentor]

As others have said "having a life" is subjective. Only you can decided whether or not you "have a life." For me, my baseline is weather I bring value to my life and those of my friends. It seems to me that many think that there is only one correct way for "having a life" ...their way. This is an interesting question what constitutes a "life" in this relative sense. What is the common denominator between all different style of "having a life". Any one feel like doing a philosophical definition and analysis?

[Ed Law]

Originally Posted by Tom Line

Evaluate what you spend your time doing, and ask yourself if you're really adding value to your life. If you're spending a lot of time not adding value to your life, then you may want to revise where you spend your time.

I like how you put it. Tom, if I may, I would like to add something to what you said.

"ask yourself if you're really adding value to your life or other people's lives"

I hope this will make some of us feel better. You do have a life if you add value to other people's life without adding to your own. I think another way to look at it is "Does your life have a purpose?"

[Jared Russell]

Not having a life means not taking the time to do the things you enjoy doing. No matter what they are.

[h1n1is4pigs]

i would have to say that if you do not have a life you are dead, and since you are obviously not dead you have a life. problem solved

[Bill_B]

The most common occurrence of the "get a life" suggestion comes from people who cannot see the value of what occupies your time. They are also unable to formulate a ready explanation or defense for their own activities. Their error, of course, is apparently that they expect you to realize they are more worthwhile and respectable than you simply because they have parroted those three syllables. On the other hand, it is more polite than the ruffian, two syllable phrase that is unsuitable for mixed company.

That is not to say you should not subject your repertory of activity to scrutiny on a recurring basis, as mentioned above in this thread. Seek advice from those whom you respect. You can almost certainly ignore the envious oafs who try to elevate their own status by belittling yours. Be polite. Avoid using the 1-finger salute in response.

[Kims Robot]

When I have used the term used... "having no life", has generally meant having no face-to-face social life. I've heard people use it that are generally home-bodies, perhaps that stay at home doing useful and productive things like working on the house, or gardening or reading, but they mean they don't get out and socialize enough. Many people that become parents also say they "have no life" now that they have kids... and again, they don't mean their life isnt valuable, its just that they don't have as much of a face-to-face social life [with people their age]. Many college kids or even engineers that get sucked so deeply into work that work is all they do often say "I need to get a life". Again, they generally mean the same kind of thing.

I would guess the theater kid is using the term in this same sense. Theater by definition is a very face-to-face social activity. Video gaming is not. I've played computer games for years, and at times, I would probably have said the same thing... that I needed to "get a life".

Its not that what you are doing isn't fun or valuable or a good use of your time. And as others have said, its really all about what you think, if what you are doing makes you happy.

But after several years of knowing "the best and the brightest", I've often found that those that are happiest and most satisfied with their lives are the ones who have "gotten lives"... meaning they have meaningful face-to-face social interaction and relationships. Granted, you can make a lot of friends online, and I certainly have my share. But there is something to be said for having friends that you can go to the movies, or go mountain biking with, hang out building robots with, or wander the mall or really anything that gives you time to have meaningful face to face relationships with others.

There are several articles and studies on the phenomena of the Internet Persona, meaning that online, we have the chance to "reinvent" ourselves and be whomever we want to be. Being in the gaming world, I'm sure you have seen it... the men that play women characters, the 10 year olds that pose as adults. We all have the opportunity to be something different. But the problem there is that in general it leads to less genuine interactions. In most cases you don't get to know "the real person" and their "real weaknesses". You only get to know what they type. What they allow you to know. While this can be true face to face, it generally happens less often. For whatever reason, we are more vulnerable in person.

This may be digging a little deep, but there have been many studies that have looked at internet usage vs social anxiety & depression. While the internet provides a whole host of opportunities we have never had before, and can do great things, there is still a real need for face to face social interaction. And ultimately a balance of both worlds seems to be the healthiest.

But again, overall do what makes you happy, and ultimately, don't worry about what others think of you. But make sure you have the friends and support network you need... and ultimately for many of us, having friends we can count on leads to "having a life"