Critique of a Poster and Brochure

[MysterE]

Thanks for the critiques so far. Keep 'em coming. :-) But do it while I am asleep. Good night, FIRST.

-Daniel

[Molten]

First off, love the format of everything. Others have hit every grammar correction I found and more. The first thing I would change is try adding a border/shadow to the puzzle pieces to make it more clear that it is 2 puzzle pieces. It took me a minute to figure out what the 1 oblong shape was. Once I realized it was 2, everything made more sense. The only other thing I could think of is the statistics. Who was surveyed? Currently it reads, "95% believe company’s involvement with FIRST benefits firm's reputation." I immediately thought, 95% of who? Is it 95% of your sponsors? of the students on your team? of the general public? If your going to present numbers, be sure they answer more questions then they bring up. Other then those two things, I like everything about the poster and brochure. If you need a critique for future things, feel free to post them here.

Jason

[Jimmy Nichols]

I agree with Molten "Jason". Although I know exactly where the numebrs come from, the sponsor material available from FIRST's website, others will not and will question that they represent. You could easily add a statement at the top saying that Sponsoring companies surveyed say....

You may also want to site who conducted the surveys as a disclaimer.

[davidthefat]

I would like to add that 55% of engineering PhDs and 45% of all PhDs in the US are foreign born. Just say that we need to fix that statistic. Fix the education system. And that FIRST is a great thing.

[Molten]

Originally Posted by davidthefat

I would like to add that 55% of engineering PhDs and 45% of all PhDs in the US are foreign born. Just say that we need to fix that statistic. Fix the education system. And that FIRST is a great thing.

I would tend to leave those statistics off because you don't know who will be the sponsor. That particular sponsor might outsource most of their work and pride themselves on being mostly Japanese. Part of the draw of FIRST is that it is becoming global. I agree that those statistics show that the US needs improvement, but they might take away from your general appeal. They might give the team a nationalist stance which isn't always looked highly upon. In other words, try to leave politics that can be debated off the advertisements.

Jason

[Carol]

You may also want to somewhere specify how the company can sponsor you. Are you looking just for money or for in-kind donations, material donations, volunteer help, loan of equipment, etc.

[MysterE]

In the end, we are including the poster as a 'pretty' for the Sponsor packet. This is why we didn't include the ways companies could sponsor. I'll be posting our Executive Summary up for review at some point soon.

-Daniel