What to do when the odds seem stacked against me?

[davidthefat]

Originally Posted by Alan Anderson

It sounds to me like you have difficulty being part of a team. You might want to work on that before you rant much more about the direction the team is going.

It just turns out that my mentor and I have different mentalities. He would rather have a terribly performing robot that works and that would allow the kids to learn more. I would rather push the kids a little bit too far that they don't quite get it and then learn from that experience.

Because from the sounds of it, his mentality sounded like "Since I know you kids can only walk a few steps, I am going to make you crawl your way through". I think it is appropriate to push the kids beyond their limits and force them to succeed. Just different schools of thought.

Being part of a team probably is my flaw. I don't even know half the kids on the team because most of them are rookies. I am the type that keeps to himself until needed.

[PayneTrain]

I think by the time that you are a highly-experienced junior or senior on the team, you need to begin entering a mentor's school of thought. You can relate really well with the kids if you give off the impression that you know what is best without saying it, and asking them questions about what they think. They can feel a connection with you being closer to their age, but you give off a vibe that you know what to do, as you've been in their exact positions before.

You sacrifice a lot of subjectivity, but you leave every meeting feeling satisfied.

It sounds like a mentor on your team and yourself are taking two wildly different approaches to the season. I think it would be best for you to reel in your "shoving" into a scary pit of complexity, and just nudge them down the hill on their bicycle. The team will realize how far they can get with just a nudge.

You owe it to yourself and your team to be the best you can be for everyone involved. Sometimes being a great teammate means sacrificing a bit of your philosophy in order to understand and appreciate theirs.

[davidthefat]

Originally Posted by PayneTrain

I think by the time that you are a highly-experienced junior or senior on the team, you need to begin entering a mentor's school of thought. You can relate really well with the kids if you give off the impression that you know what is best without saying it, and asking them questions about what they think. They can feel a connection with you being closer to their age, but you give off a vibe that you know what to do, as you've been in their exact positions before.

You sacrifice a lot of subjectivity, but you leave every meeting feeling satisfied.

It sounds like a mentor on your team and yourself are taking two wildly different approaches to the season. I think it would be best for you to reel in your "shoving" into a scary pit of complexity, and just nudge them down the hill on their bicycle. The team will realize how far they can get with just a nudge.

You owe it to yourself and your team to be the best you can be for everyone involved. Sometimes being a great teammate means sacrificing a bit of your philosophy in order to understand and appreciate theirs.

Another mentor told me that, in life, sometimes you just have to go with the flow and stop resisting even if you know you are right.

[ratdude747]

Originally Posted by PayneTrain

I think by the time that you are a highly-experienced junior or senior on the team, you need to begin entering a mentor's school of thought. You can relate really well with the kids if you give off the impression that you know what is best without saying it, and asking them questions about what they think. They can feel a connection with you being closer to their age, but you give off a vibe that you know what to do, as you've been in their exact positions before.

You sacrifice a lot of subjectivity, but you leave every meeting feeling satisfied.

It sounds like a mentor on your team and yourself are taking two wildly different approaches to the season. I think it would be best for you to reel in your "shoving" into a scary pit of complexity, and just nudge them down the hill on their bicycle. The team will realize how far they can get with just a nudge.

You owe it to yourself and your team to be the best you can be for everyone involved. Sometimes being a great teammate means sacrificing a bit of your philosophy in order to understand and appreciate theirs.

agreed

I have been here before and it nearly destroyed me. In fact, the issues in this thread are part of the reason why I currently not an active mentor.

as A student, I was in the exact same position. First to arrive, last to leave; I put in a lot of effort. often I would not get much lunch on build season Saturdays since I always finished my work (or came to a stopping point) before I ate.

As for the "told you so" thing, been there, done that. what you have to do is swallow your pride and move on; bickering seldom brings progress.

sadly, this level of involvement came to kill me as a mentor. I had a hard time letting go of where I was as a student. I had already done that with my electronics position; most of that was done by a well trained freshman at the point of my departure.

Programming on the other hand was the killer, as all 3 student programmers graduated and the new programming team was all rookies who knew nothing in the way of programming or labview. Apparently there was a miscommunication on what my mentor roles were and weren't and well, I was put in a position where I was essentially the so called "bad guy." At that point, I chose to leave rather than be left.

This issue wasn't entirely why I left but was a good part of why, and perhaps at the core of why.

My advice to a mentor in said position is to take a break. be it a week, a month, or in my case, a build season (or longer). It sounds cruel, (and I might some bad rep for saying this), but sometimes mentors need time off to reset and try again. A mentor who doesn't let the students take command of the design has little place on a team.

In my eyes, the ideal mentor is there to help design and teach and inspire. In a way mentors should be like GPS units. they guide the driver on where to go and when, but it is up to the driver to steer the car and chose when and when not to follow the suggestions.

[PayneTrain]

I see mentors as the guardrails and those little bumps on the highway to make sure the officers of the team don't veer the design into the woods. An ideal mentor also has a hand next to the emergency break in the car.

It's important to make sure the mentors and senior students of the team have a good working relationship, since those members tend to be liaisons between the mentors and the other team members.