Engineering slogans

[Adam Y.]

When technology fails, as it will at the wrong time.

Duct tape and bubble gum rules the universe....

[Jon K.]

Mr. Debler, There is an edit function so that you do not have to post replies to yourself within 24 hours(I think) of the original post.

[Edward Debler]

Albert must have also been an engineer since he has been quoted for things that apply to them:

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
- Albert Einstein

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
- Albert Einstein

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
- Albert Einstein

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them."
- Albert Einstein

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein

And my favorite:

"Things should be as simple as possible, but not simpler"
- Albert Einstein

[kmcclary]

One that got a few chuckles around here:

"The only thing more dangerous than a Programmer with a screwdriver is a Hardware Designer with the root password..."

(FYI, "root" is a unix system's "God" account, who has privileges to do ANYTHING to the system and/or other users...)

- Keith

[MacZealot]

Stand within 40 feet of our robot at your own risk!

[Kristophe85]

"If a Dremel can't fix it, it isn't worth fixing"

__________________________________

Also, our team had a three inch open ended wrench.. we often heard:

"Somebody get the wrench"

[rbayer]

A few more I forgot:

"Excuse me while I run the other direction"

"NO!"

"Set Screws Inhale Audibly" --Wody Flowers

"If at first you don't succeed, maybe you shouldn't be trying."

"None of us is as dumb as all of us" --Despair, Inc.

"Shhh... It's thinking" (refering to computer)

"Everybody Clear! Where's Mark?"

"I meant to do that"

[maDGag]

good enough

[Neal Probert]

Digging into my vast collection of computer humor collected in the past 25 years, I find a few morsels appropriate for us:

Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard. [Still looking for other nut and bolt jokes]

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb (battery, victor, motor, ...)?
A. None, it's a hardware problem.
[And a million others]

Q. What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker on a Pentium?
A. The warning label.
[There are more Pentium jokes from when they had that floating point bug]

What will you do if your robot says, "Will I dream?".

Q. What language do all programmers know very well?
A. Profanity

Q. What is a robot's favorite drinking song?
A. 99 Bottles of oil on the wall

Clarke's Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
[That's why the smoke is magic, because afterwards your technology is indistinguishable from junk]

Murphy's Fourth Law: If there are several things that can go wrong at once, the one thing that will do the most damage, will.

Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure.

This is a story about People named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everyone though Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody would not do it. It ended up that Everyone blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

[Imagine Clint Eastwood is a programmer, holding his Smith & Wesson, of course]
"Go ahead, make one more change!"

Windows are a pane in the glass.
[I have many other Windows jokes, and some are on the back of my van]

I can C!

Aye Matey, if I be a software pirate, what makes you think I'd admit it?

As a programmer and a poet, I write in rhyme, so I can go from baud to verse.

Chip of Fools

I/O, I/O, off to work we go.

On a clear disk, I can seek forever.

[Brandon Martus]

Originally posted by Neal Probert

Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.

Ahh yes, the all too common PEBCAK error.

Problem
Exists
Between
Chair
And
Keyboard

[Brian C]

Ahh yes, the all too common PEBCAK error.

Problem
Exists
Between
Chair
And
Keyboard

I believe this is also related to the, all to common:

I D Ten Tee error.

More understandable when written properly it looks like:

ID10T

One of THE most common computer problems known to man.

[Digo]

there's also BIOS:

Bicho Ignorante Operando o Sistema

but that doesn't make much sense if you don't speak portuguese, so just forget it.

[kmcclary]

Originally posted by Digo
there's also BIOS:
- Bicho Ignorante Operando o Sistema
but that doesn't make much sense if you don't speak Portuguese, so just forget it.

If I read that correctly it's something like: "Ignorant Animal Operating the System", right?

That's great...

Is that a big saying "way down south" there?

- Keith

[johnscans]

"dont trust dan"

[johnscans]

"dont trust dan"