Reaching Critical Mass

[Siri]

Originally Posted by Jon Stratis

All too often, I've seen mentors take something out of a students hand in order to do the job, which sends the exact oposite message.

Bingo. Number one way to disrespect a student. Or really anyone. Thanks Jon.

Beyond that, I think there are two different styles here. Thanks for helping me understand the other one. I suspect it's because I'm younger (and clueless), but I find that just trying to "give them the tools to succeed" is what makes me come across as a know-it-all. Because the truth is, I don't know all of those tools. In fact, at least in mechanical (with some great design mentors but no actual professional mechanical designers), there are times where none of us knows.

In those situations, I find students respond better to efforts to gain their respect by working with them through problems, with the understanding that I don't know either. I think I tend to lean more on helping them with how we can approach problems we don't know how to solve--versus a more knowledgeable how to deal with ones just they don't know how to solve. Certainly a matter of degrees, but I'd venture that the approach to respect varies somewhat dependently.

[DonRotolo]

Originally Posted by Siri

- Offer them a real stake and influence in your collaboration
- Build mutual trust and honest two-way communication

While all of what Siri says is spot on, I want to point out that for these two in particular, don't let them give input unless you plan to actually listen and consider that input.

In other words, the key word in the first statement is "real", and in the second "honest". You have to live by those, or there is little chance of respect.