Tools Explained

[Stephen.Yanczura]

DRILL PRESS :
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings the part across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL :
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh, crap!"

SKILL SAW :
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS :
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER :
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW :
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS :
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH :
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..

TABLE SAW :
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK :
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW :
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST :
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER :
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name
implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER :
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR :
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER :
A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER :
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE :
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

[themccannman]

This a very useful list, I hope many rookie teams refer to this in the future

I'd like to add a couple other tools to the list too:

Bench vise: Great for squishing fingers and breaking flat stock you were trying to bend.

Arbor press: Ideal tool for testing compressive strength of parts that you forgot to move out of the way beforehand. Also useful for shooting holes in the floor.

Lathe:
Used for throwing chuck keys thought drywall.

Wire strippers:
Very handy for making that perfect length of wire just too short to reach your motors.

Metal file:
Used for testing the effectiveness of ear-muffs.

CNC mill: Best used for entertainment purposes e.g. watching a computer destroy your last piece of aluminum plate with the utmost precision. Alternatively, you can also use a manual table mill for facing parts 1/1000th of an inch shorter than you wanted.

Tap and die set:
Multiple use tools performing functions that include but are not limited too: cross-threading bolts and bolt holes, and filing holes with non-removable steel rod.

Calipers:
Used for causing heated debates about what size certain parts actually are.

Crescent wrench:
The optimal tool for rounding off bolt heads.

Ratcheting wrench:
Best used for keeping rookie members preoccupied with turning bolts the wrong direction.

Bench grinder:
Great tool for making beautiful light shows with steel sparks before closing up shop each night.

Hope this helped.

[Nate Laverdure]

DREMEL:
A motorized swiss army knife that desperately wants to hurt you. Requires PLIERS and any number of those tiny attachments that are rolling around in the bottom drawer of the toolbox.

MEASURING TAPE:
A device that produces measurements that are guaranteed to be 1/16" off.

[Ether]

Originally Posted by themccannman

Calipers: Used for causing extreme frustration when trying to determine exact dimensions of a part.

I believe the proper use of Calipers is as an adjustable wrench.

After they've been used that way, then they are suitable for using them the way you described.

[EricH]

Originally Posted by Ether

I believe the proper use of Calipers is as an adjustable wrench.

After they've been used that way, then they are suitable for using them the way you described.

You mean Very-Near Calipers? Those things are always suitable for causing that frustration, particularly after they've been used as a wrench (or as a device to scribe a theoretically-exact distance, which is probably off by about a thou).

Personally, I'd use a micrometer. It gets you within a ten-thousandth, but that's before someone tries using it as a C-clamp that measures how thick the clamped object is.

Incidentally, hammers are also useful for dealing with discipline problems... whether of parts, tools, or users of said parts and tools!

[vhcook]

DIAGONAL CUTTING PLIERS:
A device used for sharpening zip-ties to a razor edge.

HEX KEY:
Used for stripping out the sockets in hex-socket screws to create unremovable round-socket screws.

LOC-TITE:
A tube of colored fluid used for shattering durable plastics and permanently securing bolts that are in the wrong place. Also useful as a pen.

[themccannman]

Super glue:
Good for permanently bonding your hands together, removing large patches of skin, or both.

Duct tape:
A tool from the gods, use as much as possible.

[Michael Hill]

Bridgeport Mill:
Machine used to reshape parallels that are too straight

[math311]

Roto-zip- Used for testing the ability of earplugs while creting not so straight lines

[Wayne Doenges]

Greenlee hole tool:
The diet tool of choice.

[Jim Wilks]

LEVEL

The perfect prybar.

[Garrett.d.w]

LEATHERMEN MULTI TOOL
Combine pliers with a boxcutter and then attach a flat head and Phillips screwdriver. See the above tools for their description. Additionally, can be used to lengthen waits at the airport and reduce the number of calories consumed by the user (as the user no longer has to walk around looking for the proper tool).

APM (Alternative Persuasion Device)
Big, Orange, Heavy and Cheap. Break first, ask questions later.

RIVETS
Good for attaching one thing to another with a gratifying popping noise. Has the added benefit of turning your robot into a rainstick.

DIET MACHINE
Freshmen + Holesaw (must supply your own safety glasses)

CUTOFF TOOL
Cuts every bolt in the shop too short. Can alternatively be used to entertain the proletariat as it produces copious amounts of sparks.

SANDER
Allows you to breathe in and become one with your workpiece.

ARC WELDER
Turns your beautifully cut pyramid pieces into a burnt scrap of metal. Also burns holes in your new jeans.

[Matt Goelz]

I have just a few tools from my experiences that are not yet on this list:

CIRCULAR SAW: Perfect for creating a huge mess on your just-cleaned shop floor. Also good for throwing scrap particles toward observers eyes.

SNAP RING PLIERS: Great for permanently removing and/or deforming retention rings. Some may resemble tweezers.

INDUSTRIAL METAL SHEAR: Tool used similar to that of the strongman sledgehammer carnival game, while simultaneously wasting a sheet of material because the piece moved while jumping on the bench (or while pulling the handle).

[Woolly]

ELECTRICAL TAPE:
Used as a substitute for heat shrink tubing applied post solder.
Also useful as an adhesive for all things non-electrical.

HEAT GUN:
Cheese melting device. Great for nachos. Not a hair dryer.

[Jaxom]

I can't believe no one's added

SOLDERING IRON: a small device used to create burn marks in workbenches. Can be used to create non-magic smoke, but when used in conjunction with previously-installed components can also be used as a magic smoke release tool.